The Life and Times of a Paperclip

Ever wondered where a paperclip has been?

All of you that work with paperwork must, at some point in the working week, use a paperclip.

You buy them by the little plastic bag full.

They are shiny and new in your paperclip holder.

You attach one to a cheque.

You send that cheque to a creditor.

The creditor then puts it in their paperclip holder.

And so on.

Some get unbent and used to clean out nails.

Used as tooth picks.

Others travel and travel, may end up in a bank.

Where is the final resting place of a paperclip or is it destined to travel the world forever?

Some literally will travel from country to country.

I would love to microchip one and see where it goes in winter.

How to Manage Stress

Remember that it takes 48 muscles to frown and only 5 to slap the crap out of someone!!

One of my biggest ailments in stress.

It plays havoc with my health, my emotional wellbeing and my weight.

I have many daily stresses and they are big ones.

My counsellor pointed out to me last night that she has one major stress at the moment that she is dealing with. I am dealing with at least 8 and I have to do something about it and quickly - or die. Seriously, it is that grim.

I am currently working through ways to limit the stress.

You can help.

Give me your ideas about possible solutions. Pick one from the list, two, or all of them if you're keen.

A problem shared is a problem halved.

My Current Stress List:

1. Wife of Big Boss, lives up north, controls all of the accounts, constantly fucks up, gets stressed at me for not doing things her way and then I have to redo things correctly later on. She will not talk to me on the phone, will only email.

2. Workshop administrator leaves tomorrow, I will be doing two jobs for at least a month.

3. Blair gets his license back in 8 weeks. We will get through Xmas and then have to get him back to work. Then have the stress of childcare, along with the cost and for how long?

4. Getting to Aussie, we need to get there, do we send Blair to work here and save slowly and get nowhere fast or do we do it hard in the New Year, send him to Aussie say February to get a job and then we get there a lot sooner?

5. Sister, can I please have some advice on how to stop worrying about the MRI results that she doesn't get until Oct 6th?

6. Finances, struggling to get by on our one wage, really struggling.

7. Kids, they are missing me hugely. Ben especially. It's hard!!

The Couch is Being Repossessed

My darling counsellor and giver of great couch time is leaving to live in Australia.

I only have 3 more sessions left.

Woe is me.

I feel like I'm getting there but I would love a little longer. Just have to make quality time of it.

Why do people drive through pea soup fog with their lights off?? WTF is up with that?

Fucken Day

What do you do when your bosses wife is an incompetent bitch who fucks up the bank reconciliation every month and then trys to blame you??

What do you do when you really want to email her and say fuck off you ignoramus?

You sit here and your blood pressure goes up and you get agitated and then you go home and drink!!

The Demise of the Snifter

It's official, Snifters have been denied the right to exist anymore.

Apparently, sales have decreased steadily over the last couple of years.

Bloody nora!! I fucken love Snifters.

On another note:
Couch time is not time spent lying on the couch!! Couch time is my term for Counselling.

Couch Time:

I am discovering so much about myself. My first ever kiss at age 12 has helped shape my sexuality. Sounds bizarre but take a listen:

In Form One, (Year 8 in NZ now and Year 7 in Aussie I think), I had my first ever kiss.
It was with a beautiful young man.
He was a diver.
Short but beautifully built, even at that age. His name was Darren.
I had been in "love" with him for the whole year.
I thought he was just lovely, quieltly spoken but popular, athletic, just a darling.
I finally ended up "going out" with him, you know, we were boyfriend and girlfriend finally, after many months of me admiring him from afar.
2nd or 3rd day in and we had the "kiss" booked in.
I felt this immense pressure. I had never kissed anyone before. He had.
He'd been out with one of those advance sorts of girls before me.
I was so nervous and half the class decided to be present for the event.
I was in a doorway with my boyfriend and after about 20 mins of "get on with it's" from the rabble - we locked lips. It was nice.
But... it was very wet. Bizarre even.
So I mistakenly commented out loud "Ewwww, it's sloppy".

So for the next couple of months I was known as SLOPPY. I was teased about it no end.
Apparently something inside of me made the subconcious decision that from that day forth I would be sexually forward. I would never flinch at any sexual request. Nothing was an issue. I would be "experienced" to save myself from the possible teasing.

If only I knew!!

A Timely Reminder

Often you get a bit blase about everything.

You overindulge, you get a little lazy and then things happen that make you think twice about it all.

The lady I work with had a heart attack on Friday night.

She is still in hospital.

My sister, who lost her voice and was off to the specialist ....

her right vocal cord is frozen. Not moving at all. The vocal chords both vibrate as you talk. Her right one is paralysed.

There are a couple of reasons this could be.
She could have had a trauma to the chest area. No.
She could have had damage during recent chest or throat surgery. No.
She could have an enlarged thyroid. Not looking like it.
It could be a tumour in the lung. She is off to have an MRI on 27th September (earliest she could get in and that's going private!!)
The test she had that put a tubal camera down through her nose and into her throat showed no nasties there, hence the MRI to have a better look lower down.
She could require long term physio or surgery. A
t best her voice won't come back fully for nearly two years. She's a teacher!! And has two kids. And a husband. She is considering getting a boxing bag as she can't raise her voice - AT ALL!!

So people, take a minute and think what one thing you could do to be a smidgen more healthy today.

Some of My Peeps ...

have been having "big" things happen in their lives.

My 35 year old sister-in-law found out she has a 13 year old brother. Her dad is on the birth certificate and all. But is still trying to deny it.

My 31 year old sister lost her voice for three weeks, and she's a teacher.

My cousin won a bronze medal at the Olympics.

My brother, who moved to Brisbane in October last year, got a payrise to $110,000. Wanker.

My best mate got engaged and had an engagement party where we had to dress up in a Kiwiana theme. Blair and I went as Maoris. It was great fun.

Another good mate left her abusive husband. Good one, about time.

Blair has reconnected with one of his brilliant good mates. They had a fall out about 6 years ago and haven't spoken since (he was doing P and Blair hit him up about getting help - in front of his workmates!! He gave that up a couple of years ago and is on track). He lives in Toowoomba with his 24 yr old girlfriend and is working in the Mackay mines and apparently earning over a hundy grand a year for only working four months out of the year?? Blair has loved regaining his connnection and is thinking of moving us to Mackay or Toowoomba!!

One of the guys who raped me is in jail. His dad (who was the one that walked in and found me naked on the mattress the morning after the rape) was on the front page of the Saturday newspaper, it made me very upset.

I have had great great great couch time. More episodes to come.

What have you and yours been up to??