Following Up ...

... on all our vagina talk, I think I took something from all your comments.

I think I really had a think about being happy with what I have, regardless of what it is, instead of comparing it to what I used to look like before I had children.

What my perceptions of beautiful are need to change. Not in a general sense, as I find Tyra Banks, Queen Latifah, Beyonce, Catherine Zeta Jones, Kate Winslet, so many lovely curvey women, they are all beautiful. But I need to embrace the good things about me....... my beauty, I always am envious of confident women.

The ones with style no matter what size or what state they are in, they look great when hungover in pj's. I need to gain that confidence and make it, own it, be it.

Because people, I am BEAUTIFUL, from my head to my vagina and everywhere else in between, above and below.

Hidden Worries

****** LOOK AWAY IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE DETAILS - JULES STYLE ******

Us women, we have so many self doubts, image issues, inner fears and worries. I'm not sure if men have them anywhere near to the extent that we women do.

Usually it's my face, the chins, my arse that still shows up in the mirror ten minutes after my front half has left the view. Or the tummy, rippled with the telltale signs of four children. Or the breasts that once were a nice pert D cup, barely needed a bra. Now they are an E and would give any tribal woman run for her money in length!!

But, my latest hidden worry is definitely that; HIDDEN.

I have never had a prudish bone in my body, I'm not sure why, doesn't appear to be genetic, as my sister is not so carefree. So, I have viewed the odd adult movie, even enjoyed a few, especially the ladies only versions - for some unknown reason. And Blair - being a male of the builder, timber worker, blue collar variety - is partial to the odd Penthouse magazine. Those women look beautiful, some extremely fake, but beautiful all the same, perfectly in proportion, one toned skin, flawless features ...... and the best looking damn vaginas EVER!! Never a bump, a hair out of place (if they have hair at all), all beautiful flawless skin, right up to the pink bits.

And herein lies my insecurity.

Mine just doesn't look like that. I think it's beautiful in it's own right, but it's definitely got enough imperfections to warrant it's own psychologist.

I have dark pigmentation, especially as you head more into hidden "spots". I have the odd little skin flaps on the skin, lower down nearing the thighs, was told they were hormonal, they only appeared during my first pregnancy. My pubic hair is a wild mess that probably still has uncharted territory.

What I really want to know, and hence the graphic posting, is "Am I Normal?".

I mean, you never see your friend's snatches. You daren't ask, they'd think you were bonkers or trying to hit on them.

So ladies (and I suppose men, as you probably do more viewing than most ladies), does your hidden area resemble penthouse or is it more along my neck of the bush??

It's Hard to Be Grumpy ....

In the Country.

I am sure that you are all going to fast tire of my love for the country. I don't really give a shit if you do or not. I LOVE IT.

Yes I love it when I'm sick.

Yes I love it when I'm a chick.

Yes I love it ......

Damn it, was going along the lines of Green Eggs and Ham but just don't have the brain cells to pull it off, being sick and all. Sad.

I am into this new TV show called The Politically Incorrect Parenting Show - it's presented (and I take it written) by a clinical psychologist that is quite well known in New Zealand. It is refreshingly open, honest, logically and doesn't pull any punches. It's byline is "a new school look at old school principles". I like it!! And surprisingly, hubby does too. Wonders will, in fact, never cease.

Today I tried the eating principles. Basically the guy talked about how when a human is hungry a human will eat, if a human gets hungry enough. Parents that don't like the fact their kids won't eat vegetables need to stop giving them alternatives. Etc etc etc. I put it to the test this morning. Phoebe is a shocker for deciding she doesn't like foods anymore and Sian is a shocker for eating her breakfast. So, when they inevitably didn't eat their breakfasts I said "That's fine but you will be eating them for morning tea, and if not, then lunch and so on until you have eaten them". Phoebe eyed me up cautiously, her expression read "She's so full of crap, she says this all the time". By 10am Phoebe had clued up to the fact that I, in fact, was not joking, I was FOLLOWING THROUGH. Sian, bless, took a little longer to clue up. Let's just say that she drunk her soggy cereal and milk at 3pm and that was all she had eaten for the day. But still, it worked.

Now I'm going to use the sleep thing tonight and see if the little firecrackers may just stay in their damn beds and allow me to have some marital relations. (That is a bit of a joke as I am sick so that's not likely to happen - but it could in other health circumstances.... really, it could).

A Peaceful Existence

Of course, I knew you buggers would want my unfailing wit and natural charm to come back and grace your computer screens, just wanted you to say it!!

So, where was I??

I was recovering from psycho home invasion guy's calling, I was my usual outspoken self about where political correctness was heading, and I was bleating on about the my dream home (or yours). I don't know if I ever officially answered that one, it was definitely the high country farm for me.

The prevelant theme amongst all of it was that I wanted away from the house I was living in, for a myriad of reasons, but I wanted out. I wanted my kids in the country, running outside, getting into the dirt and fresh air. Wanted out of that house where that wankstain invaded my space and put me on a permenant edge.

This is now the view off my front verandah:



I kept looking, kept putting it out there what I wanted. And it came.

We are living on a 50 acre redundant apple orchard/farm. There is a river running through it. There are shitloads of trees everywhere, a kune kune pig called Frank, hens, two fucked up roosters, a turkey, organic sheep with wee lambs, goats and ....
the owner's daughter breeds thoroughbred horses on part of the property.

I'm basically living the dream. My house is 4 bedroom, master with ensuite and walk in wardrobe, big double lounge, farm size kitchen, dishwasher, separate study/office which looks out to the hills, kids lounge room, massive laundry, and my favourite thing - the verandah. It's tranquil and I am at peace.

Are You Still Lurking Out There?

I am finding that I miss this outlet too much......

anyone give a shit if I came back from my hiatus and started rambling my outspoken views again?

Only when and if I feel inclined too, no pressure to perform?