Thursday, April 17, 2008

Confessional

I never understood how judgemental people can be. I thought I did, especially being overweight and dealing with that stigma. But having my head shaved has made me realise how REALLY judgemental the world can be. I have had nothing but glares since I went bald. People move away from me and openly show their disgust at me. I am really appalled. I will never look at somebody with a different hairstyle or outfit or piercings or anything with disdain again. I am a lovely person fuck it all so give me the damn respect I deserve.

I have to confess that I have been such a fucken slackarse that I really deserve to be kicked off my course. I received my units a couple of months ago, Phoebe went into Montessori three afternoons a week and I haven't done a smidgen of bloody work. I will be lucky not to be kicked off the course. Granted I have been sick for a couple of weeks, which always puts you off doing anything head wise, but I have never been so slack before. AAARRGGGHHH.


I am looking at a bigger house. We are in a small 3 bdrm rental and it is so little that I am going insane. There isn't room to swing a cat. I have found one and am just waiting for the realestate agent to find me a time to view it, although I'm pretty sure I will take it, has 4 brdms, rumpus room, 4 car garaging a is set on two titles so is a large section. It is $130 more a week than we pay now but the place we are in was a temporary situation while we built, then while we waited to move to Aussie and with nothing else impending on the horizon now, I need some space. I am worried about making the move as Blair's job is not guaranteed past August due to the slowing market but we will make it work, damn it, we made it work 4 years ago when we were on much less income paying $350 a week so $380 shouldn't be too bad??

I spend too much bloody time reading blogs so have decided to cut it down a bit. If I don't comment it doesn't mean I ain't reading once a week or so but I just can't continue at this rate. I am even getting a wrist problem from it. And is one of the main reasons there is no study happening.

17 comments:

Anne said...

I saw a woman with a newly shaven head the other day, and smiled at her because I realised probably the reason why! You are right about some people though - it stinks!

kathrynoh said...

People are knobs. Get a texta and write 'what are you looking at?' across your head... that's be funny.

I reckon if you wait for the perfect to do things like move then it never comes so the best thing is to do it then make it work. People always ask me if I worry about doing contract work but when I worked permanent, the company was always retrenching ppl. There are no guarantees in life and if you think any job is secure, you're deluding yourself. There might be a big, fat, juicy new job waiting for Blair after August and you'd kicking yourself for NOT moving.

Lyn said...

I find for me the state of my house has a lot to do with my esteem. I think you can always make any house a lovely home with some personal touches, but when a house is small and run down it can really get me down. We have six of us living in a tiny fallen to bits cave at the moment and some days it has me pulling my hair out!! Whoops lol no pun intended.

I really commend you doing the shave thing for the reasons you did it!! Everytime someone gives you a nasty look just think to yourself how sad their life is that they feel that way. It shows their insecurity and shallowness and in my mind inner attitudes make a person far better person than any monetary or outer image does.

Jenn said...

That's ridiculous. Not only would I never care what hairstyle someone had, but if I saw a woman with a shaved head I would probably assume she has cancer and was going through chemo. How sad that you've gotten so many negative responses.

LaLa said...

Hopefully it will make you feel better if I tell you that you were the topic of conversation in one of my client meetings today? He had a shaved head and mentioned that he and two other guys in the office had raised just over $300. I told him about you and how proud I was and how much you raised and he said you were an admirable woman.

Which you are...

read away, just post every now and then so we know you are there xx

Name: Lynise said...

My solution to situations such as your hair issue is to try and turn things around so you can laugh at it when relying the event to people later.
A wee story for you.
A friend of my mothers found out I was single and it seems she thought I could be a potential match for her unmarried son. I bumped into her while at my mothers one day and soon realised that she didn't know I had a daughter. Welll the whole tone of things took a dive as I could see the judgemental shift in how she now saw me (single mother = hussy etc) she started quizzing me about my situation and wanted to know if I was divorced. By this stage I was sick of being demoted to being a second rate citizen (in her opinion) so I blurted out "nope, never been married, Evianah is my daily reminder of a one night stand I had back in the 90's" (unture, but you could have heard a pin drop as the old trout didn't know what to say. I kept a straight face and acted like there was nothing unusual about what I had just said, still very funny to think back and remember it happening.
I hope she thought twice about being so judgemental in the future.

Jayne said...

People take one look at me & think "oh shit!" I'm 5'10", weigh just over 100kg, wear jeans & leathers & have tattoos on both arms. I'm a grandmother, I volunteer at a rehab centre for mentally & physically handicapped people & in a nutshell, I reckon I'm a softie (even if I do say so myself!) I don't seek attention, but if anyone stares or glares at me, I'll look them right in the eyes, with a silent "and your problem is what exactly?" expression. I think you've done such a courageous thing Jules & it sickens me that people should look at you strangely. Never judge a book by its cover!

AlleyCat said...

In my late teens/early 20's one of my house mates shaved off her locks & copped all sorts of verbal abuse (mainly accusing her of being a lesbian) & eyeballing. I have an inkling of how you feel. Sadly, I am not really surprised that after (more than) 10 years, people are still behaving in the same way. Very pathetic isn't it. Please try not to let it get you down: you are lovely person!!! F#ck them & their small minds. Don't even get me started on the lack of education.............

PS hope you have a great weekend

rand(om) bites said...

There's always going to be people out there who bring you down but that's their issue - you know who you are and why you do the things you do. But yeah, it still sucks though doesn't it. A-holes.

You've had a rough trot lately but don't give up! Talk to people who can help you. For starters, talk to the college about what's been going on so you can work out some kind of arrangement there. And I reckon move - home is meant to be a haven.

x

Jadey 0:-) said...

I can't believe people are like that! Rude bastards. One of the ladies I just signed up to the gym shaved too. I thought she might have actually BEEN sick. That's one of the few reasons never to judge a book by it's cover. :(

Have you tried using bloglines to keep up with the blogs you read? I love it! Saves so much time.

Name: Lynise said...

hey, just thought of a few things you could say when people glare (for longer then is polite, or show disgust in you).

1. Look at them with a puzzled look on your face, then gasp and say, oh my goodness has my wig come off, gosh I've just shaved my head in support of cancer but it must have blown off in the carpark. (make them think twice about their reaction when they realise what a nobel thing you have done)

2. smile directly at them and say, "hi, just noticed you looking at me and wondering if your interested in signing to shave your hair in support of cancer research. (or would like you to make a donation to support cancer research as I've just had my hair shaved off in rememberence of a young friend who died of Leukemia).

(hey speaking of sponsering, I missed the post where you mentioned what you were doing, is it too late to sponser and add to your total?)

This could be a great opportunity to help raise awearness even further. Utalise those stares to your benefit to promote what you have done. I'm sure some people stare simply because its human nature to be intrigued with things that are different, rather then deliberately trying to be rude, so maybe targeting these people into digging deep for a good cause could really work for you.

To the ones that are plain rude and say things that are judgement, I stick to my original post regarding saying something so unexpected that they think twice about being judemental in the future.

You certainly are brave, I don't think I could part with my hair.

Kitty said...

you're tagged

Middle Child said...

Chalk it up to one of life's less pleasant lessons...inspect it and then flick it away...those people are crap people and not worth your time of day okay.

Good luck with the house... things have a way of working out... just make sure you take one two dollar lottery ticket a week and who knows... doesn't hurt to have a little dream also

as long as you are all together and can all cuddle up on the lounge chair in the evening you'll be okay...thats really what its all about.

Tully said...

Can't believe you have been coping it because of the shaved head. That is terrible.

Yeah this blog reading is addictive, I need to cut back but it is like bloody crack.

Ms Smack said...

People are so rude. I agree with your commenter Lynise, but am amazed at how rude and judgemental people are.

What if you were sick? Oh I'm just furious from 0 - 3 seconds after reading that.

If it bugs you, perhaps you could wear a scarf over your growing hair? Might keep it warmer too, on those colder days.

Don't pay any attention to them. They're ingrates.

Good luck with the house. It's a hell job getting rentals here at the moment. Overpriced and rising rents. Keep us posted!

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Wear your baldness with pride girl.... You and your family and loved ones know why you did it... and we applaude you for doing something most of us wouldnt....
They are dirt on the sole of your shoe... scrape it off and try not to let it bother you anymore...
Hope you are smiling girl...
Time is precious and as far as blogging goes we do have to prioritise and make sure we are getting things done that are imortant to us and our families...
I have cut my bloggng time in 1/4... I use bloglines also and comment where I can in the time frame I allow myself...
I used to get frustrated with not getting things done as I was spending waaaaaaaaay to much time at the computer...
If people want me then they know where I am...
take care girl.....

crankybee said...

COnfront them! Or get a t-shirt made - "I shaved my head for charity. What have YOU done for charity this week?"

TOOLS!

We all love ya, baldy!

And can I still donate!????