Friday, September 26, 2008

The Couch is Being Repossessed

My darling counsellor and giver of great couch time is leaving to live in Australia.

I only have 3 more sessions left.

Woe is me.

I feel like I'm getting there but I would love a little longer. Just have to make quality time of it.

Why do people drive through pea soup fog with their lights off?? WTF is up with that?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Fucken Day

What do you do when your bosses wife is an incompetent bitch who fucks up the bank reconciliation every month and then trys to blame you??

What do you do when you really want to email her and say fuck off you ignoramus?

You sit here and your blood pressure goes up and you get agitated and then you go home and drink!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Demise of the Snifter

It's official, Snifters have been denied the right to exist anymore.

Apparently, sales have decreased steadily over the last couple of years.

Bloody nora!! I fucken love Snifters.

On another note:
Couch time is not time spent lying on the couch!! Couch time is my term for Counselling.

Couch Time:

I am discovering so much about myself. My first ever kiss at age 12 has helped shape my sexuality. Sounds bizarre but take a listen:

In Form One, (Year 8 in NZ now and Year 7 in Aussie I think), I had my first ever kiss.
It was with a beautiful young man.
He was a diver.
Short but beautifully built, even at that age. His name was Darren.
I had been in "love" with him for the whole year.
I thought he was just lovely, quieltly spoken but popular, athletic, just a darling.
I finally ended up "going out" with him, you know, we were boyfriend and girlfriend finally, after many months of me admiring him from afar.
2nd or 3rd day in and we had the "kiss" booked in.
I felt this immense pressure. I had never kissed anyone before. He had.
He'd been out with one of those advance sorts of girls before me.
I was so nervous and half the class decided to be present for the event.
I was in a doorway with my boyfriend and after about 20 mins of "get on with it's" from the rabble - we locked lips. It was nice.
But... it was very wet. Bizarre even.
So I mistakenly commented out loud "Ewwww, it's sloppy".

So for the next couple of months I was known as SLOPPY. I was teased about it no end.
Apparently something inside of me made the subconcious decision that from that day forth I would be sexually forward. I would never flinch at any sexual request. Nothing was an issue. I would be "experienced" to save myself from the possible teasing.

If only I knew!!

Monday, September 15, 2008

A Timely Reminder

Often you get a bit blase about everything.

You overindulge, you get a little lazy and then things happen that make you think twice about it all.

The lady I work with had a heart attack on Friday night.

She is still in hospital.

My sister, who lost her voice and was off to the specialist ....

her right vocal cord is frozen. Not moving at all. The vocal chords both vibrate as you talk. Her right one is paralysed.

There are a couple of reasons this could be.
She could have had a trauma to the chest area. No.
She could have had damage during recent chest or throat surgery. No.
She could have an enlarged thyroid. Not looking like it.
It could be a tumour in the lung. She is off to have an MRI on 27th September (earliest she could get in and that's going private!!)
The test she had that put a tubal camera down through her nose and into her throat showed no nasties there, hence the MRI to have a better look lower down.
She could require long term physio or surgery. A
t best her voice won't come back fully for nearly two years. She's a teacher!! And has two kids. And a husband. She is considering getting a boxing bag as she can't raise her voice - AT ALL!!

So people, take a minute and think what one thing you could do to be a smidgen more healthy today.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Some of My Peeps ...

have been having "big" things happen in their lives.

My 35 year old sister-in-law found out she has a 13 year old brother. Her dad is on the birth certificate and all. But is still trying to deny it.

My 31 year old sister lost her voice for three weeks, and she's a teacher.

My cousin won a bronze medal at the Olympics.

My brother, who moved to Brisbane in October last year, got a payrise to $110,000. Wanker.

My best mate got engaged and had an engagement party where we had to dress up in a Kiwiana theme. Blair and I went as Maoris. It was great fun.

Another good mate left her abusive husband. Good one, about time.

Blair has reconnected with one of his brilliant good mates. They had a fall out about 6 years ago and haven't spoken since (he was doing P and Blair hit him up about getting help - in front of his workmates!! He gave that up a couple of years ago and is on track). He lives in Toowoomba with his 24 yr old girlfriend and is working in the Mackay mines and apparently earning over a hundy grand a year for only working four months out of the year?? Blair has loved regaining his connnection and is thinking of moving us to Mackay or Toowoomba!!

One of the guys who raped me is in jail. His dad (who was the one that walked in and found me naked on the mattress the morning after the rape) was on the front page of the Saturday newspaper, it made me very upset.

I have had great great great couch time. More episodes to come.

What have you and yours been up to??