Monday, December 29, 2008

What is a Resolution?

It's that time of year again, we all do it, or we try not to do it but somewhere in the deep chasms of our minds we think - this year I'm going to .....

So I thought it a great time to actually look at what RESOLUTION actually means.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The term Resolution may refer to:

Resolution (Historic), Formal statement of opinion or policy.
Resolution (medicine), the subsiding or termination of an abnormal condition
Resolution (logic), a rule of inference used for automated theorem proving.
Resolution (law), a written motion adopted by a deliberative body.
Resolution (music), a technique in music theory.
Resolution (meter), the replacement of one longum with two brevia
New Year's resolution
Chiral resolution, a process in stereochemistry for the separation of racemic compounds into their enantiomers
Resolution, a Douglas DC-6 aircraft, BCPA Flight 304, which crashed near San Francisco in 1953

The one I like best is the medical version.


It is not normal (and therefore abnormal) for one to self loathe, for one to intentionally harm their chances of survival, for one to stuff their face full of shite, for one to be unhappy.

This coming year I will make steps to love myself, increase my chances of survival, nourish my body with healthy choices, and above all - I am going to be happy. Happiness is a state of the mind. I can choose what state of mind I reside in the majority of the time. I choose happiness. There is no other choice.

So, it is time to look back at the past year, time has flown by but when I list it out, what has happened?:

January: Blair started working for Dad, we finally got ahead financially and were in a great place, saving hard for Aussie and selling up things like our tent and camping gear.

February: Blair's brother got married, I fell off the gluten free band wagon by eating fresh bread and never looking back. We decided, with a bit of guidance from Dad, that moving wasn't the best idea when we still had debt. I lost my way.

March: Blair got done for drink driving, fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the middle line and ended up in a hedge. Lost license for 8 months. Blair also put the Isuzu into the river, flooding it and putting kids in danger (well his brother was driving but it was Blair's guidance that put him in the hole). I finally made the decision to do something for myself and get some counselling.

April: Shaved my head bald to raise funds for Leukaemia, you darlings helped me raised $800. My brain was cold!! Had first counselling session, found out I had post traumatic stress disorder and more. Found a big four bedroom rental, signed up for it and was all packed and ready to move.

May: Blair threw in his $30/hour job with Dad over difference of opinion, we lost our new rental, went to the Foo Fighters in Auckland (fucken highlight of the year!!), contemplated going hard and using our June tickets to Aussie and I got a job as Office chick a rooney at Truck firm.

June: Blair settled into house bitch position. I was extremely busy and burning candles left right and centre.

July: Stopped studying Naturopathy, too burnt out. Challenged myself big time at counselling.

August: Paid $260 to take Phoebe to gluten expert, not much of an experience. Blood tests galore for me. Tired, exhausted even, feeling undervalued and just struggling to survive a day at a time.

September: A good mate left her husband, my sister's vocal chord froze, work started to suck because of boss and his wife.

October: Turned 33, fatter than ever, reached 115kg, decided that we would fast track the Aussie decision and put plans in place.

November: Blair left for Aussie, day after he left mass showed up in previous lung xray, he returned 9 days later. Lump turned out to be nothing but the shadow of his nipple. I lost my job, forced into resignation by manipulative and evil boss who had already shafted one of the directors and founder of company and the long term office lady. Unemployed.

December: Blair found work temporarily, applied for trainee structures worker position with the railways and we had a lean but fun Christmas, I found out I have prediabetes and I am currently strategizing to start achieving my health goals.

What you been up to??

Friday, December 19, 2008

Xmas On a Budget

So.... we have no money.

Blair only got his first pay this week, we had no savings at all, was all spent getting Blair to Aussie and then back again!! After I lost my job and they didn't pay my holiday pay correctly, we have been left very short.

So having no Christmas presents hidden away I have had to do things on a budget.

I have bought things like Barbie plasters, little "men's" shampoo and shower gel packs, Cool Charm spray, groovy new toothbrushes etc etc. I am getting things my kids NEED and turned them into things they are going to like and be happy to open on Christmas Day.

Peta is getting a Miley Cyrus CD (puke!!) and some roller blades.

Ben is getting an All Blacks duvet and polar fleece blanket set and a remote control tarantula (from the supermarket!!)

Phoebe wants pretend high heels and tattoos!! $2 shop.

and little wee Sian is getting a baby stroller which I should be able to pick up for stuff all.

Afterall, it's about the family not the gifts aye???

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

How to Start?

Firstly, I have ditched Gluten Free Geisha. I couldn't be arsed with it any more. Having one blog is hard enough without having two!

I am starting on the road to health and it is going to be hard. Not so much travelling the road but getting onto the bloody road. How does one get on?? I feel like that chic in the Labyrinth when she can't find a way out of that long maze thing when she first gets into it. I know what to do but how do I actually do it? Planning is going to be the big factor for me.

I have also restarted my Naturopathy. I KNOW!! I can't let it go. I keep trying to but it just keeps coming back so it must be meant to be.

I am about to hop on the scales for the first time in about 2 months.

And the number is:::::::::::


Not actually as bad as I thought. I had presumed it had gotten a lot higher. This time last year I was about 10kg lighter.

So my first goal is to get started.

And not on a diet but on a healthier way of life, something I can sustain and continue.

Monday, December 8, 2008

A Fork In The Road

I was so close to giving up.

Not just blogging but on life in general. I have had a hell of a time over the last month.

I lost my job and am taking them to court for constructive dismissal. Apparently I was a bit too outspoken and my job just got taken away from me till I was sitting in an office doing noo tang!!

Have had severe family issues but I am not going into them. They were the worst though!!

I am coming out the other side, reassessing - as we are constantly doing, and I am ready to attack life again. Live it. Love it. Attract good things and repel the bad. I just signed up to complete my naturopathy. I shall fucken do it.

Blair has gone back to work, got the all clear on his lungs after coming back from Aussie with the worry of it all. Apparently it was a nipple shadow. Barstards!!

Anyway, it sent us in a new direction. We are what matter, not where we live or what we have so we are focusing on us as a family, a couple and as individuals. It will be great times ahead.

My blood tests (which I finally had) came back with exceedingly high fasting insulin levels. I am in a state of "pre diabetes" and I desperately need to address that.

My counselling finished, I discovered myself a lot but still feel that I am not quite the full package but what I did realise, is I am the ONLY person that can do anything about that. We choose how we react, act and live. I choose me.

I am sorry I haven't been around and I can promise that I probably won't get to read the 1725 posts that I haven't read yet on bloglines. That is yesterday, that is past, I won't go back. I can only go forward.

I look forward to sharing again.

Lots of love.