Monday, September 19, 2011

Silppers and Socks

Not really a heading that has anything to do with anything but it jumped into my head so there it goes.

My life is getting more and more busy with a thousand and one things always on the To Do List. 

Actually, that makes me think it may be time to write a list on all the things I need to get done.

I have found my blogging journey has changed quite a over the last couple of years.  It used to be my every day thing, had to write, had to dish out my opinions and musings to those who dared listen.  I had to read other's blogs all the time, it was like going to the pub without the beer and singing along to the juke box.  The advent of Fakebook probably had a lot to do with my downturn in literary spoutings.  It's the "instant gratification" buzz of having someone respond so quickly without much effort on my behalf.  Which last night got me thinking - do I even talk to many people at all any more? Do I visit or phone anyone?  When did I last write a bloody letter??  After much thought and self analysis I came to the conclusion that life has taken a bit of a downward spiral in the communication stakes.

I used to pride myself on my use of the English language, my ability to keep in contact with people and my track record of maintaining old friendships.  Now, if you're not on Fakebook or texting me back, then we probably haven't been chewing the fat for a long while.  Even emails seem too much hard work.

So my goal for the next week - amongst catching up on four assignments, getting started on another two, exercising, mothering, farming, learning off of my endurance mentor, cleaning and my Board of Trustees duties - is to write a letter to an old friend and, here's the big challenge, ACTUALLY SEND IT.

I challenge you to do the same, comment and let me know who you are going to write to and why and a bit of the history.  I will give you the same courtesy - I will be writing to the lass who read a reading at my wedding and then proceeded to fall asleep on the toilet at the venue later on in the night and get locked in after everyone had left.  Those are the mates you should never stop communicating with.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Buddha Arse

That's me at the moment. I am sitting at the computer looking at my reflection in the window and I'm looking awfully like a buddha, except there is no gleeful little smile on my dial.

So what has happened in the last four months??

Sian has spent another two nights in hospital, going by ambulance both times for her asthma. The last time was at 2.30am in the morning and when the ambulance finally made it all the way out here her oxygen stats were only 77!! I was very scared - it's a long 45 minute drive from here to Christchurch Hospital and she was on oxygen and ventolin by nebuliser the whole way there with the oxygen stats not even lifting that much...

She seems to have come through the other side of it though and just went through a really bad flu without having to be hospitalised which was a great bonus.

Now she is back at preschool three days a week which is brilliant for me and my study.

I have been very busy with my Naturopathy units and have a couple to get in before I finish Module 1 of 7. Took me a while to get over the fact that I had to redo a lot of the units that I have already passed and have NZQA recognition for but once I got there eventually. Sometimes you just have to let things go....

Anyway, my new motto is:

We can not become what we need to be by remaining what we are - Max Dupree

Monday, May 9, 2011


Wow, how time has flown when life is hectic and crazy.

Sian has been very sick with asthma for the past 5 weeks and has been on prednisone for 4 out of those 5 weeks. Ended up in hospital again and it's just been one thing after another.

And then a very special wee friend of ours died tragically just over a week ago.

You can read about it here.

If you watch the video, Blair is the pall bearer at the front left, with the glasses on.

Sophia was very special to our family, her grandparents are two of our closest friends and she called us Aunty and Uncle. She was a dear friend to our kids and they shared a special bond. I spoke at the funeral and read this poem that I wrote quickly the night before:

Soar now beautiful girl
On to your next journey
Plenty of adventure before you
Heartbreak and sorrow left behind
Indigo child set free to find
A fresh place to cast your spell

Perfectly you were presented
Euphorically received
Nan and pop amazed by your fire
Dragon all the way
Ropes would never bind you
And no limits would you accept
Gutsy and determined
One mission at a time
New mates around every corner

Would this social butterfly find
Accepting of all our flaws
Loving unconditionally each one of us
Laughing infectiously , spontaneous
Affectionate with those twinkling eyes
Can’t imagine life with no Boo in it
Even as I tearfully say my goodbye...

so I plead with you to make the most of the time you have with each and every one of your special friends and family, you just never know when their time is up..

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Whom I Be Rolling With #3

All the old time readers of my intelligent and witty musings will perhaps recall when I did a little thing on the odd occasion called "Whom I Be Rolling With".

This was what the overall gist of it was:

Now you all know what I blog about, from the comments you can see who is reading and commenting. So I thought, to let you into what I enjoy, I will give you an insight into what I enjoy reading.

There will be four categories:

Mod Cons: Blogs that I am just starting to enjoy.

Faithfuls: My favourites, the girls or boys that are my comfort, my ears, my daily reads, laughs and from whom I take the most life lessons from.

Antiques: Those that have gone, maybe to come back, maybe not, some missing in action.


The Secret Drawer: The password blogs. Those that I have the privilege of being invited to read.

Now I have titled them all based on household items, I don't know why, I just have.

The Mod Cons are the new gadgets, the little things that you're glad you have discovered to make life easier or better.

The Faithfuls are the comfort blankets, the old cushions, the favourite chair, the best place in the house, life would be hard without them.

The Antiques are the old treasures in your house. They timeless, valuable yet you don't use them anymore...

and the Secret Drawer, well that's where you hide the vibrator!!! The good things that for whatever reason aren't left on the kitchen table.
So those were the rules

So here we go again:

My current Mod Con is Irish Daughter. This woman is a salt of the earth lass with much to offer our blogging world, she has only recently started and has not blogged for a bit but she is so dear to me that I have to have her as my mod con. She is doing it hard raising three young ones on her own. Go give her some support. Tell her I sent you.

My Faithfuls, so many of you. Who has touched me this month of March? I would have to say Memphis Steve, for kindly sharing the link to my post about my fallen pal. Steve is outspoken, (pot - kettle - black) but has a heart that is open to one and all. He sure knows how to get a contentious issue going and for that I love reading him. He has a soft spot for the beautiful Aussie girls and is not one to back away from any issue. Go have a read, tell him the Kiwi girl sent you.

The Antique, and god do I miss her, is Steph at Much Ado About Sumthin. She went missing a while ago, came back, went away again, and lately her blog appears private so I don't know where my antique has gone, maybe one day she'll turn up on Antique's Roadshow??

And hiding in the Secret Drawer is ..... Wanna B Slim, one crazy Tazzie girl who loves to ride her bike and drink scotch. She hasn't posted for a while but she better start again or I'll have to come and kick her arse. She is a battler and a great mum and is so great to have as a blog friend and she sends the best homemade Christmas Cards ever.

Anonymous My Arse

Firstly, new post at Destination Goddess for those that care..

Last year I lived nearer my parents.

Surrounding us is a leased farm that is run by my new neighbour's friend.

Today we had a yarn, nice bloke, although the quickly bought to my attention that he knew that I had complained about him dumping truckloads of pig effluent on his paddocks a couple of times last year.

He was right, I had, the stuff was disgusting and he was dumping it 22 times a day for a while there....

The thing that bloody gets me is that I was repeatedly told that the complaint was anonymous, so were my neighbours. And yet Ecan decided to give him a copy of all the people that had phoned and complained about him, how many times and when. Fuckers.

He was pretty good about it considering he had to pay a $1,100 fine to attend a meeting about it....


Sunday, March 27, 2011

First Week

The first week weigh in result is over at Destination Goddess.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Celebrating Difference

I have just read a beautiful post over at Jimmy's place, this man always has the most amazing power with words.

In his post he mentions a wee girl with a lazy eye. Now, when we are kids, and more likely than not into adulthood, we always have something that we don't like about ourselves. Something we feel hinders us in the popularity stakes. I remember a ginger haired lass at my primary school that had cheeks that were just so white and round that I used to have daydreams about stabbing them, I don't know why. Admittedly, she pissed me off no end, she was one of those "I'm so much better than you" types.

There were kids at school who had all sorts of inflictions and mine was a lazy eyelid. I still have it. At four it was quite obvious:

My left eyelid just doesn't like to rise up to the occassion. It was pointed out in front of me a hundred times as a child, maybe that is where the insecurity about it stemmed from. I also had a great lisp, which a year of speech therapy corrected, apart from when the wines or vodkas or rums have been flowing. Funnily enough the eyelid gets lazier when those thirst quenchers have been flowing too. I imagine I'm quite the hottie after a session - one eyelid nearly shut and lisssssssssping my arssssssssssseeeeeeee off.

The whole point of this inane rambling is that we all have something that makes us feel a bit different, a bit left out, a bit strange... My immediate family all have something. Blair has psoriasis, he hates it with a passion, it stops him wanting to wear shorts in public in summer, it is a terrible thing for him. Peta (12) has glasses, a ski jump nose and her right eye is twice as blind as her left so as soon as she takes her glasses off it turns inwards (eg in the swimming pool at school). Ben (10) has a port wine style birthmark that runs up his right leg from his little toe all the way to his bum cheek. Phoebe (5) has food issues and also has an incontinence problem, poor wee thing, and finally, wee Sian (4) - bless her cotton socks - has big ears, they stick out and she will undoubtedly insist on hair covering her ears when she is older.

When I think of most people I know we all have something that is considered abnormal. So what is normal? No one is normal. Not bloody one of us is considered normal yet there is a constant push for everyone to look and act "normal". I say it's time to celebrate our differences and realise these little things are what makes us all unique. New York.

What makes you feel abnormal?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Girls Day Out

Have posted at Destination Goddess for those who give a poo.

My mother and I had a very rare day out yesterday.

Granted we both had to have those hideous womanly rituals, her a mammogram, me a smear. But in between the embarrassing but essential tests, we had a great day.

We went for coffee, did heaps of wee chores and just bumbled around kid/husband free for the day. It was bliss.

Something I must do more often as we are two different veges from two different continents when it comes to our way of thinking but that doesn't mean we can't have a day where all that is just accepted and we potter around enjoying that fact that we can be with our mother/daughter and there is no ice.

When was the last time you had a day like this with your Mum? What did you do?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Month On ....

Firstly, for any of you interested, I have posted over at Destination Goddess.

Today is a month since the horrible earthquake that hit Christchurch. The city is not the same, so much is lost, not least of all - life.

Please go to this video and listen to the voice of an angel, Hayley Westenra, a daughter of Christchurch, singing Amazing Grace (a cappella) at the Memorial Day in Hagley Park to honour those lost in the February 22nd eathquake:

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Destination Goddess

The time has come for a change.

A BIG change.

I really love this little blog and being able to spit all the shite in the world out on it.

I originally started blogging to track my weight loss, as some of you know. Many years later I haven't lost a brass yazoo but I have made a million friends along the way. Recently I decided that in order to lose weight and make it permanent I have to make HUGE changes to my overall life. Not a diet but a lifestyle change.

As this blog is no longer about that sort of thing I have a new outlet for my weight loss shite, the stats, the figures, what I'm making as far as changes in my life, etc.

Destination Goddess is born. So each time I post over there I will link to it here, just to make it easier. If you don't want to go there and read the boring bits of my life that is fine with me. If you do, that's fine too.

Here's the link and I've just done my first post:

Destination Goddess

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Clearing the Clutter

I'm after advice from the organised among you.

I am in the process of decluttering and sorting my home office.

I currently have shite everywhere, I can't find my marriage certificate and if a disaster happened (and this seems to be a common occurence lately) I would struggle to find all the important documents.

I have been an office and administration manager and am great at setting up new systems in a work situation but seem to struggle at home, maybe because I go a bit over the top and then never end up following it through. I need advice from those of you who know how to keep it simple.

So what I want to know is:

How do you organise your home office?

Where do you keep your important documents and do you have more than one copy?

How do you file your bills etc?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Ch Ch Ch Changes...

I am making a few.

I am.

Sam I am.

But I will not make them in a boat, with a goat, or in a box with a fox.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Not the Post I Expected to Make...

I had a post all in my head, I am about to embark on something fresh and new...
but that will have to wait.

Yesterday afternoon at 12.51pm a devastating earthquake hit Christchurch and outlying areas. I grabbed Sian, the only of the midgets that was at home, and cowered under a doorway, it was hard to run, the ground was very very violent.

Within minutes I realised that this had been worse than the September 4th, 2010 earthquake.... the national TV stations were showing scary images that reminded me of 9/11 with people running, smoke, dust, confusion, terror and all this happening out in front of me - in the distance....

I tracked down family and most friends, all seemed fine.

Then my sister phoned. Her best friend, and friend of mine, had lost her husband... but let's go back a couple of years...

Chris (Mrs) married Chris (Mr) five years ago in November. They were very happy, 2 black labs, good jobs, nice house in the burbs. They struggled to have a baby and finally got accepted onto the IVF programme, after multiple tries and disappointments they had a bouncy wee baby boy. Just after he was born Chris (Mr) was transfered, with his painting job, to Auckland from Christchurch. Away the family embarked on a new adventure.

Things were slow to settle in Auckland, hard enough being in a new place with no family or friends, especially with a wee baby, but Chris (Mr) was struggling to cope with the new warmer climate, he was always tired and felt like he might be coming down with something.. this went on for months, nothing was ever found at the Drs, he was just struggling. Enough was enough, he put his foot down and refused to leave the Drs one day until this was sorted.... by the end of the day he had been admitted to hospital, only to leave for small periods of time over the next couple of years. He had an aggressive form of leukaemia, then they found tumours, then they found bone cancer.... the poor buggar was in a state. Chris (Mrs) was struggling too, no support, constant hospital visits where she wasn't allowed to take her baby in because of the high risk to Chris (Mr). In a time of stable blood cell count the family relocated back to Christchurch, where Chris (Mr) took up near permanent residence in Christchurch Hospital's Oncology unit. Every time things looked a bit better he would be out for a day or two and then things would go bad, he'd be back in. In October 2010 he received a bone marrow transplant, which at first didn't take, but finally started to do it's thing and make him healthier....

January 18th, 2011 - four weeks ago, Chris (Mrs) was ecstatic, her facebook page said it all. Chris (Mr) was being release from hospital, not just for the day but for good. They couldn't be happier, they had a new home in Brighton, health was returning to their family.

Yesterday morning they left their wee son with Chris'(Mrs) parents and headed into the city, did some jobs and had a lovely lunch in Cashel Mall, near the Bridge of Rememberance....

at 12.51pm the 6.3 magnitude earthquake abruptly hit Christchurch and ripped their lives apart - permanently.

They were just walking out of the cafe as it happened, Chris (Mrs) pushed her husband hard out of the way of falling debri, he still didn't have the strength to move at any pace. He was knocked to the ground by part of a falling building and she threw herself over top of him to protect him from anything else coming down. When the dust cleared she noticed that he was bleeding out from his leg, she ripped off her top and tried to tourniquet his thigh, it wouldn't work, he fell unconcious. A couple of people tried CPR but he didn't recover and a policeman told them they had to leave. Chris (Mrs) punched the policeman in despair, how could he think she could leave her still warm husband there?? She had no choice, a shop assistant covered his body with a curtain, Chris (Mrs) took his wallet from his pants, she couldn't bear to think of people going through it, and she wrote his name and details on the curtain ---- and left her soulmate.

She wandered through town alone, there was no support around, a mother and father ran past her with their obviously dead daughter in their arms, screaming for help. There was none. Everyone else was trying to survive.

Chris (Mrs) walked barefoot and topless until some random stranger gave her a top, hitchhiked and walked to her home, phones were down, no one could come to help her as noone knew what had happened. When she got home her house was totalled, her car in a hole in the ground, she turned around and hitchhiked and got a taxi to her parents place in Burnside, still covered in dust, sewarage, blood and smoke. There she found her 2 year old son fitting with an extreme temperature. He has been to doctor and it's a virus.

Our friend has lost everything, her husband, her house, her car (and his - it's in a carparking building in central city).

This is just one story to come out of yesterday's quake, it's an extremely tragic one. I have another friend who's good friend is in the CTV building which is currently a pile of burning rubble....
Hug your loved ones. Money, possessions, arguments, it's all crap - it means nothing.

Our house is fine, our possessions fine, kids fine - we are the lucky ones

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Reflections of ...

the way life used to be...

I have just spent the last hour reading over old posts back in October 2009. LOL.

Why?? Why, again I hear you ask??

I was trying to find out when I had given up on my Naturopathy.

Because lately I miss it, I miss the study, I miss the great things I learnt and I think, most of all, I miss the fact that I was on my way to a qualification.

I have spent so much of the last year pondering what I should and shouldn't be studying, working as, learning etc. I love the horses, but reality is that horses cost money so in order for one to enjoy their time with their horses one needs to be realistic and have an income to support their hobby.

I have looked at going back into office work but it frankly doesn't appeal. I have four kids, as you all know, and being there after school and on the odd school trip etc is important to me. So I need a flexible source of potential income.

I have the desire to help people in need. I have a great love of the natural and the human body and it's function.

The naturopathy fits.

I have contacted the college to see if they'll let me back in.

If they won't then the universe has shown me the big two finger salute in that aspect and I will look elsewhere for inspiration - hairdressing? LOL.

If they do, the universe has shown me the way back to a goal that has been with me for years.

I feel in a much better state to be studying, the kids are all a bit older, school is just around the corner, Sian is in preschool three days a week, the meds I am on for the depression are amazing and I have been really solid, even through a rough Christmas. I am ready for what is coming my way.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

2011 Goals

It's going to be a year of peace for me, I need it to be.

I will be returning to more simple ground roots and these are my goals:

Present myself as I want to appear, get back into my hippie styles that I adore.

Live each day in the moment.

Put time and energy into my relationship.

Show my kids I love them by providing ROUTINE.

Get all bills up to date and focus on debt reduction and savings.

Learn to listen with an open mind, not with preset responses already waiting on the tip of my tongue.

Serve my soul by meditation and time with horses, my passion.

Love my husband unconditionally for the man he is and support him in achieving his dreams.

Organise myself and create more time.

And of course:

Lose weight and get fit and healthy.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010: The Summary

Firstly, what a fast year!!!

- Had bad fall after around 4 riding sessions a week where I developed abs and my seat back again. Started with a personal trainer.

- Pulled out of my equine course days before the start date due to exorbidant childcare costs.

- Blair's Mum had a heart attack and died three days later, horrific time watching someone slowly die. Family arguments afterwards resulted in Blair not talking to any of his family since April.

- All the kids had whooping cough. Sian ended up in hospital with complications and pneumonia.

- Signed up for a house in Oxford with ten acres and full dressage arena, stables and round pen. Pulled out when we couldn't leave our little community.

- Struggled back and forth with indecision over whether to go back to tertiary professional level study, try for Equine course again, find a job or just chill. Got offered part time unpaid work with local Endurance legend and her team of horses. Have learnt so much in three months. Horses make my soul sing.

- Found a house, signed up for 2 years and now feel more settled location-wise than ever. Still up in the air over the study/career path thingy.

- It's been a tough end to the year, I have more animals than I can throw a stick at and there has been plenty of marital unrest.