Monday, July 27, 2009

Hidden Worries


Us women, we have so many self doubts, image issues, inner fears and worries. I'm not sure if men have them anywhere near to the extent that we women do.

Usually it's my face, the chins, my arse that still shows up in the mirror ten minutes after my front half has left the view. Or the tummy, rippled with the telltale signs of four children. Or the breasts that once were a nice pert D cup, barely needed a bra. Now they are an E and would give any tribal woman run for her money in length!!

But, my latest hidden worry is definitely that; HIDDEN.

I have never had a prudish bone in my body, I'm not sure why, doesn't appear to be genetic, as my sister is not so carefree. So, I have viewed the odd adult movie, even enjoyed a few, especially the ladies only versions - for some unknown reason. And Blair - being a male of the builder, timber worker, blue collar variety - is partial to the odd Penthouse magazine. Those women look beautiful, some extremely fake, but beautiful all the same, perfectly in proportion, one toned skin, flawless features ...... and the best looking damn vaginas EVER!! Never a bump, a hair out of place (if they have hair at all), all beautiful flawless skin, right up to the pink bits.

And herein lies my insecurity.

Mine just doesn't look like that. I think it's beautiful in it's own right, but it's definitely got enough imperfections to warrant it's own psychologist.

I have dark pigmentation, especially as you head more into hidden "spots". I have the odd little skin flaps on the skin, lower down nearing the thighs, was told they were hormonal, they only appeared during my first pregnancy. My pubic hair is a wild mess that probably still has uncharted territory.

What I really want to know, and hence the graphic posting, is "Am I Normal?".

I mean, you never see your friend's snatches. You daren't ask, they'd think you were bonkers or trying to hit on them.

So ladies (and I suppose men, as you probably do more viewing than most ladies), does your hidden area resemble penthouse or is it more along my neck of the bush??


Epskee said...


Without seeing it (tee hee hee) I cant say if its normal. But at least you pondering the question is normal.

Luckily since i like girls too, I get to ask the question of women who have seen mine, and men too.

I would suggest a trip to the naughty youtube (leaving name off to avoid spam for ya)Not only are there all the *ehm* film star versions to see, but also the amatuer peeps.

Every one's different. And every body likes em a bit different. They also look different whether your in the mood.

And never underestimate the power of the airbrush. The day someone invents airbrushing for us normal gals OUSTIDE the mags, IM IN!!!!

Hope that helped. Theres also adult dating sites where "normal" (and i use that word so loosely there) people post all sorts of pics. And really, thinking back to pre marriage days, did any of the boy bits you played with look like they do in the movies?? No?? EXACTLY!

Kitty said...

I have seen lots and lots of flange.

i can tell you, that rather like snowflakes, they are aaaaal unique!

penthouse is bullshit. those bitches are surgery and get their arseholes bleached and all sorts of crazy shit. then they are airbrushed to perfection.

they are not sexy to me at all.

my snatch is quite "normal" by porno-standards but it isn't the pale, tidy perfection you get in penthouse cause I haven't let a surgeon anywhere fucking near it.

men don't give a shit about perfection. they are not perfect either. they are just happy if you let them fuck it at all jules, be sure of it babes.

here's a question! is jules packing the perfect, thick 12 inch porno cock like aaall the guys have? probably not. and if he isn't - do you care?



Janene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kathrynoh said...

I've never seen the pics in Penthouse so I don't know what the ideal looks like!

I went to a $2 peep show once when I was drunk and the chick had -- there is no nice way to say this -- really long dangly flaps. I felt really bad the next day cos I made some really loud comment, not realising she could prolly hear. Anyway it never stopped her from making a living!

Cinders said...

you crack me up Jules. i'm sure you're probably normal and I'm pretty sure even the 'bits' in girlie magazines are all airbrushed too. i think it's been publicised before.

Janene said...

Ahhh yes, Jules is well and truly back in blogland!

At a guess, those penthouse minges have been airbrushed, have never given birth, have never had weight issues, and if not "perfect", have had plastic surgery to help them be "more" perfect. Utter craziness and totally unreal. If anything, yours is normal compared to those that are portrayed in pornography.

Margaret said...

Did you not see the tv program about the "perfect" vagina, - there is no such thing, they even had an artist who sculpted vaginas out of plaster of paris I think?? anyway it was on Prime and bound to be repeated, quite horrific in parts as young girls were having surgery to get the perfect touche...

Chris H said...

Are you shitting me? YOur twat is no doubt just perfect! We all loook slightly different... and no one has the PERFECT one! Pffffft!
I had the most disgusting LOOKING a-what till I had surgery last year... having 6 kids and huge babies did some damage! Now... I am sure my nether regions look just 'normal'... whatever the fuck that is!
Get over it... and stop looking unless you like staring at ya fanny? LOL
I'm sure Blaire finds it perfect!

mapstew said...

Sweet Divine Fuckin' JEEbus!

It's Monday Fuckin' Mornin'!!

(I'll have to get back to ya !)

Kate said...

Aww Jules, I just love you!

Having seen a fair few in my nursing career - they are all different, and all perfect in their own way. I tell you something - I never ever saw one that looked like a porn star's one - cept for in porn!

LaLa said...

I used to edit porn and transfer porn from vhs to dvd for the internet. They were usually pretty cheaply made and hence, not much air-brushing so I can assure you that they all look... different...!

Don't look at the one's in Playboy, it's like looking at a model and wondering you don't look like her. In real life that model doesn't look like herself either!

savannah said...

OHMYGAWDDDDDD! too funny, but i swear, sugar, we've all had that thought at some point (4 babies here and a few years on you) what a great introduction to y'all's blog! i'll be back for sure! xoxoxo

(came over via mapstew!)

underOvr (aka The U) said...

Good morning Jules,

I've been thoroughly humored and entertained by this post (along with the comments).

Perfection is an illusion born of envy. It's the reason we (men and women) chase perfection!

I agree, "we're all different and unique". Learning to accept and appreciate our differences enables us to avoid the envy trap.

I'm glad I'm at an age where I really like who I am and I don't give a rat's ass what others think.

Kitt says, "Men don't give a shit about perfection", part of me wants to agree with that and part of me knows that men can be just as vain as women about all kinds of shit you wouldn't believe.

So I would just say, "be thankful...for what you've got" and appreciate your assets instead of focusing on your liabilities.

I'm sure your husband loves and appreciates every aspect of you.


Jules said...

Epskee: As if I'm going to search Youtube for flanges!! Eeeewwwwww!!!

Kitty: Ouch, bleached anus doesn't sound that appealing does it?? And I hope I ain't packing a 12 inch cock, LOL.

Kathrynoh: You have never seen a Penthouse?? Good on you, nothing to fuck with your images of normal then.

Cinders: "you crack me up Jules", good play on words there chick!!

Janene: Why did you get shy and edit your comment?? Thanks for the insight, helps to know others thoughts.

Margaret: I didn't see that programme but Blair did, which may have been my catalyst for the thoughts??

Chris H: I'm sure yours gets more use than mine darling because you have more confidence than I do, even with my hubby!!

Mapstew: Harden up Mappy my boy, welcome to the big kids playground.

Kate: I love you too sweet chick, I actually thought as I wrote this, Kate will be able to spit her coffee out over this one.

Lala: Why does it not surprise me that you have done that as a job, you beautiful crazy open darling lady.

Savannah: Hey hey, welcome to my world, great to have you here, I must say though, I'm not always this outstpoken ......

U: You speak with wisdom my dear friend. But there is something in my psyche that has yet to discover feeling comfortable with my assets. Maybe I need to really focus on some positive thinking aye??

AlleyCat said...

LMAO Jules! Sorry you're vag is needing its own psychologist!!!! Like everyone has said, they're all different & perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

I was surprised a while back when at a day spa with a mate - she's miss sleek & sophisocated - yet had the bushiest bush I'd ever seen! I was kind of expecting something a little more manicured. I dunno why I even had an expectation!!!!

How many kids did you say you had???? I'm sure Blair is more than happy with it missy!

It could always be worse - I'm just thankful they dont do female circumcision 'round here............

underOvr (aka The U) said...


Give the positive vibe a chance; stop beating yourself up over shoulda, coulda, woulda.

Like I said, "Mr. Jules must be pleased with the real you", so cut yourself some slack and do the "I'm OK" affirmation!

Thanks for offering the dream interpretation. It hadn't occurred to me that it was a metaphor for me. So it's a perspective I can contemplate now.


Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Hey Jules.. You are not alone in your thoughts as you well know...
I hate my bits too... and Have whinjed many times that I want a different one!!

Middle Child said...

Enjoy your gets less after Menopause (and shock) can even go (not yet luckily) you think you have problems...what is normal? No one I know is the same so it stands to reason few of us look like the other

Jadey 0:-) said...

Having spent part of my life as a beautician I can guarantee you are normal and the penthouse girls are not. There's a lot of air brushing and colour fixing and that kind of thing that goes on with thee magazines to give guys their "perfect" woman to "entertain" them.

Everyone is different but in the end if you have any serious worries you should always talk to your doctor or gyno.