Thursday, December 13, 2007

Ever Wished....

the ground would open up and you would disappear?

Yesterday afternoon I was walking around a corner past a bank in Rangiora. I was the only one on the corner but there were a heap of people around.

A car full of late teens/early twenties came around the corner.

The guy in the front passenger seat yelled out "Hey Wideload, you're causing an earthquake" then laughed and looked at his mates for gratification.

I was unaware for about 5 seconds that he was talking to me, then realised I was the only one of the corner and he was staring right at me and laughing.

I instantly thought "Fuck you, you little shit, as if that bothers me".

But of course it did.

I cringed that my kids, parked three cars away may have heard.

I cringed at the fact that at least 7 other people had heard and seen.

I kept walking, got in the car and went about my business but every second the leering face of the white trash little fuck knuckle sprang into my mind.

And I have not stopped feeling disgusting about myself for the past 18 hours.

It's easy to say "he's a dick, don't let it bother you" and I actually remember giving this advice to a fellow blogger not so long ago, but when it is you, when you self esteem is stripped from you in seconds with a commercial paint stripper, you can't let it go. You can't stop thinking how terrible you must appear to others for someone to even feel compelled to make a comment like that.

Blair wants to scour the town for the little prick and punch his face but I'm not so sure that would solve anything.

But why, when I am obviously at a point where I attract negative attention because of my appearance, can I not do something about it?

So, crack please open, earth please devour me.

32 comments:

Rachel said...

Little fuckers, I say let Blair at em!

just janene said...

I'm with Rach!

What pricks. Obviously he was trying to be the "big man" amongst his group of friends. Let's hope one day he does something to impress his friends that lands him in jail or worse. Kharma will come and bite that dick on the arse, even if Blair doesn't get his hands on him first.

just janene said...

Oops, that sounds nasty "bite that dick on the arse" !! But you know what I mean hehe

Betty said...

this hurts me too as I can expect people might think the same about me.
I'm sorry it happened and I wish it didn't hurt you as much as it had.

Damn bastards! to them it was a three second joke, but for you ( and all of us who've had it happened to) it hurts for a long, long time.

Man that sucks.

Kitty said...

What a staggeringly unfair thing to be subjected to Jules.

I cannot think of a person who deserves it less than you. The world is cruel and nasty and the criteria to be judged 'good' is becoming more and more warped.

If people were judged on spirit, wit, intelligence, warmth and personality alone - there would be a fucking bronze of you in the town square baby and every motherfucker would be bowing and shit when they passed it.

I would baby. You pure gold biatch.

Steph said...

what a fucking bastard! I hope he gets a wicked, incurable, as yet un-named, STD from the two bit whore he has to pay for a shag.

I hope his dick grows teeth and bites his own balls off leaving him to drown in a pool of his own blood and feces after he shits himself with the realisation of what a fucking moron he is.

AlleyCat said...

Oh Jules, I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. Ditto to what Kitty said. Karma will sort them, but that doesn't make you feel any better in the interim. Hugs

Chris H said...

Been there mate... everyone else has said it all.... except I will say this.... at the end of the friggin day... it's up to you to pull finger if you really do hate how this makes you feel. I am no help I know, I know! But, I am speaking from experience.

Linda said...

Carful of males = dickheads. I know you're pissed off and hurt also but don't let them get the better of you.

Em said...

Turn his negative into a positive ...use what he said as a motivation tool .. everytime you think of him turn it into something positive for you ...punch a bag (not a wall ) lol..hope you get my drift......at the end of the day who owns the problem HIM not you as I am sure if it wasnt you it would have been someone else (elderly wateva) ..... as for your recipe on your other blog (chicken one ) absolutely bloody beautiful made it today for lunch with friends ty ty ty

Lyn said...

I agree with all the above comments!!

And .. think of this ... he managed to pull you down infront of a few mates ... you have managed to bring his butt to the curb infront of all the people who have read your blog!

I'm a big believer in Karma and it works everytime ... he will get his day, but sure of that!!!

*hugs*!!!

P.S. Is this profile pic better? Did it for you chick!

Helena said...

wankers. I had a car load of fuck knuckles do that to me once and that was after I'd lost 40kgs I felt heart broken ... luckily I was out walking the dog and carrying a nice loaded bag of warm dog shit and hmmmmm in my fury I threw it at the car and it burst *proud grin* ... maybe you should invest in a dog? *smooches* i know exactly how you feel right now babes.

Middle Child said...

He probably likes girls who look like boys... my daughter had a boyfriend like that once and barely survived annorexia because of his complaints about "fat". He was a weedy little prick like the guy who ruined your day. Some one should kick him hard wherever it hurts the most okay... you be yourself okay and don't let little weeds like this get to you. Only inadequate, small ( in all ways) men act like this and only to make what is small appear bigger...and nothing on earth can fix that lacking up in them...

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Hey I was gonna say exactly what Steph said but she beat me to it... mwhahahaha... no-one has word like that girl... haha
But hell yeah.. we have all been the brunt of the fat jokes... us it to your advantage... ;o) I did...

Wanna_B_slimmer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Oh fk it... that was me... dumbarse comp had a hissy fit...

AKG said...

You know, I wonder if your appearance had anything to do with his evil comment - and wonder if it was perhaps just the fact that you were the person who happened to be around when his "brilliant idea to be a wanker" thought struck him?

Men know exactly how to fuck with our heads... ie attack a woman about her weight.

For sure you aren't the only person in Rangiora that carries a few extra pounds.

I don't know for sure - but women are funny creatures - I bet you a really slim woman would have gotten the same comment and felt the same way.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits.

It makes me so angry that some jumped up little fuckwad has the power to hurt you so deeply.

I'm sorry you're feeling down babe.

m said...

helena has the idea! Love it.

I'm a believer in Karma so he will get his.

What a prick!

LaLa said...

What an arsewipe. I have never understood peoples intentions to really hurt someone for shits and giggles.

I am so sorry Jules, I know it's an incredibly hard thing to get out of your mind xx

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Hey Biatch its cummin.... its snail mail remember.... hahaha might help if I dug it out of my bag and stuck it in the post box aye!

Mellisa said...

If it wasn't you with a little extra weight, it would have been the nerdy school kid down the path .... It wouldn't have been personal, just a fuck stick in a car trying to be cool .....
I'd like to see the day when you and Blair are walking down the street and run into him again .... *giggle* Go Blair .. Go Blair!!! lol

Anne said...

Agreeing here with the above - love Helena's story. I also know hoqw you feel, once at a party I had two younger women looking at me and whispering away and laughing, I just knew it was about my size/weight and felt so low.

Please don't let them get to you!

Tully said...

I know exactly how you feel, I have been there more then once myself. I was like you too and more mortifed about the idea that someone I know might have heard.

I really don't get why someone feels like they have the right to say such hurtful things. I don't know what is wrong with people.

Don't let them get you down. :-) Look back at how gorgeous you looked in those wedding pictures a few months back, remind yourself how hot you are!

Milf Gone Wild said...

If reincarnation does exist that guy who insulted you will come back as a genital wart on John Howard's dick. Please stop thinking about this wanker!!

Sandra said...

No advice from me - just a big hug and to say I've been there. You are right that's it's easy to say you won't let things like that get to you but harder to actually do that.

Sandra
www.livejournal.com/users/kiwirevo

Ms Smack said...

You know what - big or small, you'll always carry yourself with loved ones around you, with a chuckle in your eye and a spring in your step. He'll always be an asshole.

Whoever I want to be said...

Cant add any more that hasn't been said above and just popping in to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Tania said...

Been there many times myself Jules with pretty much the same effect that you've been experiencing. If there's one thing i've learnt over the years it's that others peoples comments can't affect us unless we allow them to - easily said I know!

So be angry - with him and with yourself, whatever it takes - but make that anger work for you, use it as a driving force to achieve what you want to achieve and remember that one day you WILL be able to look back on this occasion and know that you have the last laugh. After all the day will come when you reach goal, look and feel sensational - and this mindless idiot will still be some stupid little prick that will never grow up.

Hope you're starting to feel a bit better about things.

Em said...

Yep thats the one ...was so bloody nice , everyone went mad over it

Miss Beck said...

*sigh* MAN. I hate these moments and I have had a few in my time so I kinda get how you are feeling.

I really don't have advice, just a story to share. One day, I was riding my bike when one of these car loads of 'boys' drove past really slowly and yelled something about my fat arse and getting it moving to lose some weight.

The firs thing I thought to say was "Fuck off, you told me last night that you love fucking my big bottom". Sure it was crude, but it was spur of the moment and all his mates pissed themselves laughing and I could hear them laughing at him as they drove away.

Here's a thought, we need to watch what we say around our own kids and teach them that that shit is unacceptable so they don't become one of those boys.

Chubbymum said...

OH MAN that is what happened to make me lose the weight in 2004.

I was out walking with my baby and toddler around the lake and boy said the same thing and I turned to them and said "Yeah I maybe fat but you are always going to be ugly" and pretended it didn't hurt but man it hurt and was scared for quite some time to walk around the lake. I sooo sooo understand...

FUCK them though ok.

Chubbymum
http://cmlosingit.blogspot.com

Mae said...

I totally know the feeling. Even worse than having someone say something directly to me, we were at a drive-through window of a fast food place and my husband was driving. As we were leaving, the stupid kid said something like "that dude's wife is BIG!"

I felt very small, lemme tell ya. Ironic, no?

I'd like to say don't let them bother you, or screw the asshole, he probably has a small penis. And he probably DOES have a teeny, tiny prick, but it doesn't matter cuz you didn't get the chance to point that out to him since it was under clothes.

Crap, where was I going with that?

Oh, right... screw him, he has a small dick.

;)

You are loved, by your husband and your children and some stranger can't take that away... that's what I'd try to hold on to.