For having pushed out four kids in 8 years is.........
A new vagina.
Yes that's right, on the 14th of November you will go under the knife and when you wake up you will be fully panel beaten and leave hospital with a brand new vadge.
Granted - you won't be able to use it for a fucken long time, and when you do, you will probably have that virgin feeling as you break in your new love tunnel. Actually, you probably will be too scared to use your new vagina for about 10 years.
Post op you will be unable to do anything. We mean anything. The only thing you are allowed to lift is a cup of coffee. Oh and did we mention, you won't be able to drive for a couple of weeks either. Yes, you will need to hang out with your Mum quite a bit over the following weeks.
By the way, as an additional free extra we are going to tie your tubes so that you don't have any other little surprises that may dent your new shiny va-jay-jay.
So, relax, enjoy your next 2 weeks and 6 days of your old vagina, we suggest you run it into the ground, and we'll be seeing you on the 14th, ready to knock out the bumps and have you looking like you're straight off the lot.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Arguments by Tealight
It's been a long time coming, first barbie of the season. Not that it was really the weather for it, do recall a few drops of rain descending on the festivities.
So we cranked up the barbie for it's first outing this season. It fired into action, stoked to be getting some attention.
Gluten free sausages, lamb chops, and a shit load of rocket.
And a bottle of Martini Asti, similar to Asti Riccardona. Blair had a few brews, I had a few bubblies, we had the computer tune flowing. What a great afternoon.
We got another bottle of wine.
Kids off to bed, Blair set the mood with random tealights all over the room. It was all lovely.
Then the nit picking started, both of us.
In the end of headed off to bed in a huff.
Just goes to show, you can set the scene but that doesn't always guarantee the ambience will flow.
So we cranked up the barbie for it's first outing this season. It fired into action, stoked to be getting some attention.
Gluten free sausages, lamb chops, and a shit load of rocket.
And a bottle of Martini Asti, similar to Asti Riccardona. Blair had a few brews, I had a few bubblies, we had the computer tune flowing. What a great afternoon.
We got another bottle of wine.
Kids off to bed, Blair set the mood with random tealights all over the room. It was all lovely.
Then the nit picking started, both of us.
In the end of headed off to bed in a huff.
Just goes to show, you can set the scene but that doesn't always guarantee the ambience will flow.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Steph's Story
Sorry to keep directing you to Gluten Free Geisha but this is a great story as to how darling Steph came to find out she had a gluten allergy (coeliacs).
Friday, October 19, 2007
Time to Knuckle Down
Okay so I have posted this entry over at Gluten Free Geisha as it is about my operation, my plan to attack it in the best shape I can and a wee bit of a ramble. So don't be a lazy mummy rooter, head over and check it out. If you come here purely for the entertainment and outstanding wit and can't be arsed reading about my daily issues, then stay put, read some old entries or just move along.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Mothering Awards
I am sitting on computer after a lovely morning out having a needle stuck in my arse so that I don't get pregnant again. This after a lovely conversation at Women's Hospital about the minimum three month recovery it is going to take after I have my bits tightened.
So, where was I??
That's right, catching up on my bloglines when up pops a message bubble:
USB Device Not Recognised, hardware not known.
What??
I look down around to see Sian (10.5 months) sitting on floor next to hard drive with USB cable for the digital camera in her mouth. Apparently babies are not recognised as suitable plug in devices for my Compaq.
LMAO!!
So, where was I??
That's right, catching up on my bloglines when up pops a message bubble:
USB Device Not Recognised, hardware not known.
What??
I look down around to see Sian (10.5 months) sitting on floor next to hard drive with USB cable for the digital camera in her mouth. Apparently babies are not recognised as suitable plug in devices for my Compaq.
LMAO!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Eat My Arse
Note: I wrote and posted this yesterday but Blogger-rooney ate it up.
My darling husband has two favourite sayings "Eat My Arse" and "Eat It" for short. This is highly immature but I find it quite endearing. He also loves farting and still laughs out loud at himself and anyone else farting. He is 33.
Many of our friends do not find this quite so an endearing quality in our darling Blair, being that the majority of them are in their mid to late 30's. We have the odd bloke that still finds it hilarious, these are Blair's kindred souls.
My point is that Blair is, on the exterior at least, a pretty "what will be will be" sort of person. I think that on the interior this may not be the case at times but for the most part of it, he's a knoddy.
I, on the other hand, used to be happy go lucky but have found that the more kids I have the more worried I am about the impending future and what it may bring for us. Blair thinks I think too much and apparently my doctor agrees because he told Blair the same thing once, when I had sent Blair for a check up and given him a list of things to get blood tested for due to his symptoms. My doc knows me well and he knows that I have studied many years of Naturopathy and he values my opinion. No shit, he really does. And as he was telling Blair that I had suggested all the right blood tests and told him that "I'm a bright spark", he continued to tell him that he thinks I think too much and apparently that is why so many intelligent people get depression.
Now, this is not meant to be a wank stained full post about how fucken up there in the brain cell department I am.
I just wonder how many of you are constantly bothered by your thoughts. Are you always thinking ahead or are you just happy to take life as it comes? I wish I was the latter because I feel that things would be way more enjoyable.
PS Blair has decided to not shave until Christmas, I just smiled and said "I've decided not to put out until Christmas". I despise facial hair on my man. Yours can do what he fucken well pleases but I like Blair cleanly shaven or, at most, a bit of a goatee, no fucken beards or mou's.
My darling husband has two favourite sayings "Eat My Arse" and "Eat It" for short. This is highly immature but I find it quite endearing. He also loves farting and still laughs out loud at himself and anyone else farting. He is 33.
Many of our friends do not find this quite so an endearing quality in our darling Blair, being that the majority of them are in their mid to late 30's. We have the odd bloke that still finds it hilarious, these are Blair's kindred souls.
My point is that Blair is, on the exterior at least, a pretty "what will be will be" sort of person. I think that on the interior this may not be the case at times but for the most part of it, he's a knoddy.
I, on the other hand, used to be happy go lucky but have found that the more kids I have the more worried I am about the impending future and what it may bring for us. Blair thinks I think too much and apparently my doctor agrees because he told Blair the same thing once, when I had sent Blair for a check up and given him a list of things to get blood tested for due to his symptoms. My doc knows me well and he knows that I have studied many years of Naturopathy and he values my opinion. No shit, he really does. And as he was telling Blair that I had suggested all the right blood tests and told him that "I'm a bright spark", he continued to tell him that he thinks I think too much and apparently that is why so many intelligent people get depression.
Now, this is not meant to be a wank stained full post about how fucken up there in the brain cell department I am.
I just wonder how many of you are constantly bothered by your thoughts. Are you always thinking ahead or are you just happy to take life as it comes? I wish I was the latter because I feel that things would be way more enjoyable.
PS Blair has decided to not shave until Christmas, I just smiled and said "I've decided not to put out until Christmas". I despise facial hair on my man. Yours can do what he fucken well pleases but I like Blair cleanly shaven or, at most, a bit of a goatee, no fucken beards or mou's.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Update to "The Price of Milk"
Okay.
I haven't made this decision lightly, we have been mulling it over for a couple of years and with the ability to own a home out of our reach here now until the kids go to school, we think why the hell not have an adventure?
We will be moving to the Sunshine Coast, probably Nambour or surrounding districts. We have friends living in Nambour, one in Maroochydore, two in Mooloolaba, and about 8 in Brisbane, not to mention my brother who is living in Brisbane with his girlfriend and my other brother and his fiance are moving there in 6 months from Perth.
Blair is a carpenter and they are in high demand in Queensland.
We have been in contact with Centrelink and if Blair was on $25 an hour we would be entitled to nearly $750 a fortnight in family assistance, not to mention the subsidised childcare, whether I'm working or not. He is hoping to be on more but you still get rebates and family assistance at much higher incomes than you do here. We have seen all our friends who have left for Queensland go ahead in leaps and bounds since they departed our fair land.
Couple in Nambour have gone from nothing to owning their own joinery company, building and selling three homes, investment properties and now are living on 3/4 acre on their dream home - nearly freehold by the way, property being worth in the vicinity of half a million.
Other couple have set up business and both are earning double they could here.
Mate in Brisbane left here with not a cent, now he has bought a home in north side of Brisbane, this is a guy who struggled to get enough for the pub most weeks. As a builder here was earning $25 an hour, over there is getting $40 an hour with vehicle and phone to build stairs!!!
Those of you who got into the property market before the boom are sitting pretty. EG my sister and husband, one income, bought a three bedroom home in Christchurch worth $123,000. Mortgage $177 a week. Five years later, post boom, their property is worth $350,000 and they are on a fixed mortgage for next five years only paying $265 a week and at 7.8%. So yeah, sweet if you got in before prices shot through the roof.
I definitely want you to all know that there is no way I do anything without weighing up the pros and cons, doing the figures and mapping it out way in advance. Australia may seem like it has faults to those of you that live there, and granted the cities are diabolically priced, but for us, there is no comparison purely from a financial point of view.
And then there is lifestyle factors. Blair has shocking psoriasis and whenever we have visited Sunshine Coast his skin clears up due to the moisture in the air. My nose is sweet, usually have dried up nose that becomes booger infested every night due to a swelling in my turbinates (nose lining). When in Sunshine Coast that goes. And three of my kids get asthma and my doctor has told me we are living in the worst place for it, being polluted in winter and windy in summer. He told me about four years ago that the best place in the world we could go for asthma would be the Sunshine Coast of Australia.
And at the end of the day, as darling Becks says, home will always be there.
I haven't made this decision lightly, we have been mulling it over for a couple of years and with the ability to own a home out of our reach here now until the kids go to school, we think why the hell not have an adventure?
We will be moving to the Sunshine Coast, probably Nambour or surrounding districts. We have friends living in Nambour, one in Maroochydore, two in Mooloolaba, and about 8 in Brisbane, not to mention my brother who is living in Brisbane with his girlfriend and my other brother and his fiance are moving there in 6 months from Perth.
Blair is a carpenter and they are in high demand in Queensland.
We have been in contact with Centrelink and if Blair was on $25 an hour we would be entitled to nearly $750 a fortnight in family assistance, not to mention the subsidised childcare, whether I'm working or not. He is hoping to be on more but you still get rebates and family assistance at much higher incomes than you do here. We have seen all our friends who have left for Queensland go ahead in leaps and bounds since they departed our fair land.
Couple in Nambour have gone from nothing to owning their own joinery company, building and selling three homes, investment properties and now are living on 3/4 acre on their dream home - nearly freehold by the way, property being worth in the vicinity of half a million.
Other couple have set up business and both are earning double they could here.
Mate in Brisbane left here with not a cent, now he has bought a home in north side of Brisbane, this is a guy who struggled to get enough for the pub most weeks. As a builder here was earning $25 an hour, over there is getting $40 an hour with vehicle and phone to build stairs!!!
Those of you who got into the property market before the boom are sitting pretty. EG my sister and husband, one income, bought a three bedroom home in Christchurch worth $123,000. Mortgage $177 a week. Five years later, post boom, their property is worth $350,000 and they are on a fixed mortgage for next five years only paying $265 a week and at 7.8%. So yeah, sweet if you got in before prices shot through the roof.
I definitely want you to all know that there is no way I do anything without weighing up the pros and cons, doing the figures and mapping it out way in advance. Australia may seem like it has faults to those of you that live there, and granted the cities are diabolically priced, but for us, there is no comparison purely from a financial point of view.
And then there is lifestyle factors. Blair has shocking psoriasis and whenever we have visited Sunshine Coast his skin clears up due to the moisture in the air. My nose is sweet, usually have dried up nose that becomes booger infested every night due to a swelling in my turbinates (nose lining). When in Sunshine Coast that goes. And three of my kids get asthma and my doctor has told me we are living in the worst place for it, being polluted in winter and windy in summer. He told me about four years ago that the best place in the world we could go for asthma would be the Sunshine Coast of Australia.
And at the end of the day, as darling Becks says, home will always be there.
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