Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Absent Note

Dear Mrs/Mr Reader

I am very sorry that Jules has been absent from Blogsville Elementary for the last 2 weeks or so.

We have had difficult times in our house. All the grandchildren have come to live with us on at Bonnydoon. Even the dog came for a stint last week. Jules has been in hospital getting her tubes tied and the back of her vagina wall cut open and restitched, her perinium made bigger, tighter and higher and this was all done due to a pelvic prolapse (not due to having a vagina transplant!!).

We (Mum and Dad Outspoken) have been very worried about her overindulgence in pain relief in the days since she got out of hospital. She is in a lot of pain and won't be back in the writer's seat for a while yet, just short bursts in between Codeine and Voltaren induced comas. We do know that she is walking and looking forward to the serenity out here tomorrow when her eldest child Peta turns 9.

If you have any questions please don't phone, just email or leave a comment as we are outside doing neverending tree planting and digging (as required in the lifestyle block owner's manual) and she is just too darn drugged up to get up off of the couch to answer the phone. She has managed to whip up a gluten free choccie cake (from Scratch) for Peta and has read two Marian Keyes books in two days.

Yours Sincerely

Mother Outspoken (nee Mother Blunt and Tactless)

19 comments:

Lynda said...

Do get well soon Jules... and oh, that was a wonderfully funny post - who wrote that? Was that your mum? LOL

Anne said...

Well written! Hope you are soon feeling better. At least you have some good reading material.

Chris H said...

Thanks for the udate Mum... tell Jules we are thinking about her and her fanny! Hope Peta's day goes well today.

Rachel said...

Glad to hear Jules is drugged up and pain free with a brand new fanny (lucky girl).

Well wishes from Rach in Wgtn.

Kate said...

lol @ your post.. How about the serenity eh?

OUCH! Your poor vag.. hope you are feeling better soon, and back to your usual mischief.

Miss Beck said...

The humour apple didn't fall far from that tree did it?

A new set of flaps AND drugs AND chocolate cake? Man, can your life get any better right now?

LOL

LaLa said...

Hopefully you are off your face on drugs and this comment comes across as funny ey?

Get better soon love x

Lyn said...

hope your feeling better soon mate!!

Mellisa said...

Hope you get better soon!!

rand(om) bites said...

Very funny post Jules and I do hope you have a quick recovery! x

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

If I come over to make sure you are alright.. will ya share ya drugs with me Jules???? or do i have to have a vag reconstruction first?????
Cheers lovely.... Thinking of ya girl...

AlleyCat said...

Hope your recovery goes well! Funny Funny post!!!

Jo said...

Hey Jules

Hope you are doing ok!!!

Just wanted to stop by and say hi. Great to read such a funny post
xo

Cazzie!!! said...

If there are any questions that need to be answered then you can feel free to email me any time and I will respond asap. I had the same procedure as Jules a few years ago. I am also a nurse so I know a bit about the medications and what doseages are safe and what to look for if there is too much taken, or not enough. If she is still in pain then the pain relief is not adequate, if she is too drowsy then it is too much, there is a fine line to what is appropriate and what is not(sighs).
Please take care and thanks for the update :)

Betty said...

Jules you crack me up, even though right now I am truly feeling for you. Speedy recovery and all that!!

I laughed at your comment over at Steph's blog. It's so true. Our back bums never look the same after childbirth. Bloody things.

Take care :)

Middle Child said...

Cazzie is a gem isn't she...Jules I hope you are fine...take care and I hope by now things are improving so pain meds can stop and so you feel better...Bonny Doon is there such a place... Always makes me laugh...loved "the Castle" Don laughed so hard he just heaved silently...and watching him laugh like that cracked the rest of us up...ahhh

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Ha...mother outspoken...i like you mum. Wonderful...it was wonderful.

Hoping Jules get's up off her back soon.

The last time I was on drugs...um I mean prescription meds I had my babba. He's my winky.

ciao...Jules get well soon. Mummy, you are awesome.

Steph said...

Oh my darling! Get well soon. Read Mariane keyes again, she's my fave author. She'll make you laugh at least.

Jin said...

Hey Jules! Here's hoping you have a speedy recovery from your op (ouch!). Take care hon :-)