Absent Note

Dear Mrs/Mr Reader

I am very sorry that Jules has been absent from Blogsville Elementary for the last 2 weeks or so.

We have had difficult times in our house. All the grandchildren have come to live with us on at Bonnydoon. Even the dog came for a stint last week. Jules has been in hospital getting her tubes tied and the back of her vagina wall cut open and restitched, her perinium made bigger, tighter and higher and this was all done due to a pelvic prolapse (not due to having a vagina transplant!!).

We (Mum and Dad Outspoken) have been very worried about her overindulgence in pain relief in the days since she got out of hospital. She is in a lot of pain and won't be back in the writer's seat for a while yet, just short bursts in between Codeine and Voltaren induced comas. We do know that she is walking and looking forward to the serenity out here tomorrow when her eldest child Peta turns 9.

If you have any questions please don't phone, just email or leave a comment as we are outside doing neverending tree planting and digging (as required in the lifestyle block owner's manual) and she is just too darn drugged up to get up off of the couch to answer the phone. She has managed to whip up a gluten free choccie cake (from Scratch) for Peta and has read two Marian Keyes books in two days.

Yours Sincerely

Mother Outspoken (nee Mother Blunt and Tactless)