* If it is hot I get horny. The hotter it gets, the hornier I get. It has always been this way and last night, while I was hot and horny (with no chance of acting on it due to sutured vadge), I had an epiphany. Most of the overpopulated countries in the world are hot!! Forget contraception and all that jazz. Forget the traditions. Forget everything else and just focus on this one thing. Could this explain overpopulation?? Take NZ for example, there are way more people living in the North Island (closer to the equator!!) than the South. I think I have cracked it. Do you get hot and horny?
* Allergys suck. Yes, all of them do, hayfever and the like but food allergies, well they suck big time. My two year old has a medium level peanut allergy and gluten allergy. I have only just started having a good look at the peanut allergy and frankly, I am overwhelmed at the amount of "hidden" stuff with peanuts. Lecithin, emulsifiers, food additive 332, hydrogenated vegetable protein. All have peanut in them. What the fuck?? So you can hide peanut and put it in products?? Seems a bit fucked up to me. Any of you have a peanut allergy??
* Why is it that your hair NEVER looks the same as the day you left the hairdresser?? Never!! Sometimes, this is a blessing but other times you are just in pure dismay that you can never recreate that cool haircut in the sanctuary of your own home.
* Double yellow lines exist for a reason people. They mean: you can't pass anyone at the moment because it is impossible to see around corners. If you do pass you are a) breaking the law and b) a fucken arrogant and impatient knob.
* I love saddlery shops. I went in one today and so many memories of horse riding came flooding back that I just about cried with happiness in the store. Then I just about punched the other four women in the store to death because they were all talking about servicing their mares and thoroughbreds and breaking in three year olds and bridles and it fucked me off cos I so wanted to be them. Swanky horse bitches.
* Dog shit should be illegal - nuff said.
* I took my own advice about opening my mind and finding my happy place and went on a Fairy Expedition with a good mate, my Phoebe and Oscar, mate's son. We had a blast but that is another post and there are photos.
* Being overweight and having a food issue sucks arse but is it even worse that I find other fat people intimidating? Is it like I don't sympathise with them as I don't want to be grouped with them and finally have others realise that I too am fat? Why the fuck don't I just feel good and lose weight?? Fucken tell me someone cos I am going to be Jabba soon.
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10 comments:
Hey Jules,
My nephew has a severe peanut allergy and yes, it does suck.
Let me know if you want me to put you in touch with my sister-in-law, she could probably give you some great advice.
At least your hair is the colour you want it... my boyfriend called me Carrot Top the other night. The mortification.
Only allergy I had was to sea water! I know there's a shitload of hidden peanut stuff though & you'll probably have to be super-aware to detect every bloody instance of where it lurks.
If you find the secret to the weight loss Jules, pass it on hon please. I was so chuffed that I lost 15kg, but right now, I just can't be arsed & keep thinking "fukkit". I went to a real palace the other night (so much money it was obscene) & there were whacking great big platters, like 1m diameter, full of hand made Belgian chocolates. I temporarily died & went to heaven! Would you have resisted? Bollocks! I'll start again after Crimble!
Oh, yeah. Peanut allergy bites the big one! Let me know if you ever need any info, I've got tons on it. A lot is geared toward caring for kids with food allergies, but that's only because there's an epidemic among kids right now. Allergy News
And, in response to your 1st question: yes, I do, too. But the best birth control is three little kids that wear me out! Does sex exist after parenthood? If you work my theory into your data, you'd have to conclude that hot-weather mamas get a lot more childcare than we do. (Which, I believe is quite true.)
Hot weather makes me depressed along with the sunshine. Then again I'm a vampire. You never see them hanging out in the tropics do you? (ha)
No one has peanut allergies in my home. I don't quite get why everyone has peanut allergies these days and no one had them when I was kid.
Fuck you crack me up!
Bullet comments:
* Hot and horny - Yep
* Allergys suck but I'm fortunate enough not to have any in my family apart from Dad's gluten intolerance
* Hair dressers are evil and deliberately make sure you can't reproduce 'their' look.
* Impatient idiots who pass on double yellow lines (or overtake on the inside lane) annoy the crap out of me and lots of unsavoury words usually leave my mouth when they do stupid shit like that.
* I also grew up riding horses in Australia as my Aunty owned a Riding school in Bathurst and we went there every school holiday's.
* Our dog died 2 years ago and I do miss him but definately not having to constantly pick up dog shit.
* Must try the happy place thing
* The biggest thing that sux is when you lose a bit of weight and feel fantastic but instead of carrying on losing, you reward your good efforts with a boss burger or chocolate?????? WTF??
Sex???? Whats that???
My Josh has a severe nut allergy but mainly hazelnuts, brazil & walnuts. Also allergic to eggs. I taught him from a young age that he has to ask me before he accepts food from someone and if I'm not there he must ask if it has 'nuts & eggs'. We've had a couple of hospital trips but hopefully it will get easier as he gets older.
Hey Jules - yep, Josh has an Epipen at home and 1 at school. The school is a Nutella and Peanut Butter free zone. It's a hard one at first. We discovered his hazelnut allergy because my sister gave him a Ferrero Rocher on Xmas Day 3 years ago. Needless to say he spent that Xmas in hospital. Another time he was with Nick at a mates house who saw Josh eyeing off the 'Gulyian' chocolates. Unbeknown to Nick he took a bite and had the runs later that day. We didn't discover that until I rang the people and persisted with them he must've eaten something even though the wife insisted he hadn't eaten anything. Finally the hubby remembered the chocolate. I think the main thing is to drum it into your daughter that she must ask you before eating something. People will get used to checking with you first.
Josh is classified 'Anaphylactic' but every 'episode' he's had has been different. He can go from a full on hayfever attack to a sore tummy or the runs. He only once complained that his throat hurt him and we put that down to egg.
He's also allergic to Nurofen and Iburofen. Of course we found out the hard way again but usually a trip to Emergency ward and a shot of Andrelin puts him right again.
Has she had a skin test yet? Josh has had 2 so far. His latest one earlier this year showed he had become worse with some and better with others such as milk. I'm due to take him back when he is 7.
It is frustrating. Feel free to ask anything as you need. (sorry I've rambled so much but I want to give u a feel of different scenarios).
I hear you on the hairdressing thing ... lol
As to hot and horny? NO WAY - maybe it's a good thing I live in the southern part of Australia ... lol
Food allergies suck BIG time! It's not much fun working 4 days a week with a 21 month old that is allergic to cows milk, beef, lamb, wheat, eggs, peanuts, cashews & hazelnuts, thank god he's been cleared of his soy allergy! It's a real eye opener how many things are hidden in foods and not the easiest to cope with unless you have time on your hands to prepare meals from scratch.
Don't even get me started on the cost of things like gluten free bread - on average I pay around $6.50 a loaf - with only 12 slices in it!!! No wonder I got so excited when I saw 2 loaves discounted to $1 in the supermarket one day ... lol
So far, i'm lucky that my girl is not allergic to anything but chores around the house and science homework.
BUT the schools here have a strict 'no trading food' policy and the kids are supervised!
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