So I have sulked and whinged and dwelled on things for bloody ages.
I just had a big cry to my Mum on the phone.
I have decided to put a big focus on making me happy, the rest should all fall into place.
The first thing I need to do is get some counselling for me re the rape, weight, self esteem.
I am on to that today.
I have put Blair in charge of the money, I am over organising it and taking the stress. Time for him to step up and be the man about the house.
I have my weight watchers and my dog training, that is my time out but I would like something else. I have been enjoying walking the last week so I'm going to be doing more of that.
I have noticed that I am in a cirlce pattern of not getting anywhere fast.
Round and round I go.
Well I have just chosen to take my own life by the horns.
I don't want to be the sort of person that complains about all that is wrong.
My mother told me that when she had Peta over the weekend they were digging holes at on "the farm" and Mum commented on how Dad (Peta's Grandad) wouldn't notice her missing till it came to tea time if she fell in the hole. And Peta commented "no one would miss me at all if I fell in".
So that speaks volumes about the sort of mother I have become. Only focused on my own constant issues and my issues with Blair. Time to be the best damn mother ever.
What have you decided today??