So 2008 sucked anus for a number of reasons. Some you know, some you don't.
2009 is starting well health wise. I have made some permanent changes, am losing weight, another 800g this week, putting total to 4kg in 2 weeks (8.8pds). I feel better, am walking and enjoying that side of life.
On the shit side we may recall that I lost my job in November. Blair found work, albeit temporary, at a building company and has just found out that he has one week until no longer required. Building consents are down to a 17 year low. Building is not an industry in NZ to be trying to find work in!!
The registration is overdue on our Isuzu Bighorn, the diesel miles are 13,000 overdue, the Honda has been sitting in the drive since Blair's accident and is 2 weeks off being deregistered due to being unlicensed. I can't relicense it before it has a Warrant of Fitness. I can't get a WOF without a new tyre, a new battery, a new front passenger window and the driver's seat being fixed - and a years registration being paid up!! I am 4 weeks behind in the rent but have a set up with my landlady to pay an extra $125 a week on top of our regular rent to get on top of things. I'm behind on the credit card payments, I'm behind on the GE Money loan, my dog's shots are due ..... you are getting the picture here???
Blair was down to one of three for a trainee structures worker position with Ontrack (the government department that manages the railway lines etc) and had his interview on 22nd December. We have yet to hear anything. In a year we have gone from being in credit with all bills, on top of everything, savings in the bank to being in this absolutely shit position with only 2 more pays!!
So last night I sat Blair down and we tried to nut through what angle we are going to take to get through this. With any normal bloke this would be fine but Blair being Blair, whenever he is under stress he lashes out verbally and feels like he is backed into a corner. He doesn't handle it all being on him. Now, I could get a job but we have had issues with Blair being at home and it pretty much can't be an option for me to not be here. My eldest is about to get her period, is getting wee boobies etc and Blair just doesn't cope with this new change and Peta really needs Mum here for her. It goes deeper, there is conflict and it is imperative that I am here.
Blair just refused to talk about our options last night, packed a shit about everything being on him etc and went to bed. Leaving me at my wit's bloody end.
When the fuck is our break going to come??
When the fuck is my husband going to grow up??
When the fuck????
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19 comments:
Feel for you Jules. Bloody hard when Blair won't take it on board, but then do you think he's feeling guilty as you aren't coping. Maybe get through to him, you aren't blaming him - just want to work it through together.
Don't be proud, look for all the help you can get, foodbanks, plead your problems and try for any financial assistance you can.
I realise being a mum and being there is important to you, but have you thought of any part time night work or any work from home?
Fingers crossed Blair gets that position. I'm sure that work will turn up for him, but just all a bit of worry. And it sucks when you've had a bad year, you always looks forward to a new one and it starts of no better.
Oops should have read - coping financially. I was trying to say he may feel bad because he isn't able to support his family.
Sorry to hear that things aren't going too well for you guys at the moment. Sending lots of job finding luck your way! Any chance of Blair going back to work for your dad?
On the other hand - congrats on the weight loss - that's fantastic, esp when other parts of you life aren't cruising along.
Take care
Kel x
((hugs)) Echo Anne. Good luck. Sorry I cant be more constructive or of more help :0(
YEah - I was thinking working at home too! Beck has started doing nutrimetics cos she wants to be home for her boys - maybe you could look into something you're interested in
I don't know...sometimes men can be that way. I wonder if women are the stronger of man kind.
I know a lady...her husband doesn;t work...her daughter's hisband doesn't work and her other daughter's live in boyfriend doesn't work. WHAT IS IT?
I've offered jobs...but there is a drug test. Never see them even apply.
Good luck honey...I think you just have to get his view on it...a serious talk, but you have to get him to want to do that.
take care...it'll be a better year honey. :D
Babes - I wish I was rich so I could help. Or at least give Blair a job maintaining my mansion (fantasy remember?)
Working from home is a good idea, when I worked in Recruitment we used to have mystery shopper roles that were conducted over the phone.
xx
Is Blair out there everyday looking and asking for work?? If he is ... Great. If he is not, then you tell him to pick up his bottom lip and be a fucken man. Work will not find him. Why are men such sooks!!!???
Your turn for a break will have to come soon .... it just has to!!
Another option is to get on a dingy and float over here and work in the mines!! *sigh*
Chin up chookie!!
Hi Jules, first time commenting but long time reader.
Firstly, congratulations on your weight loss, it's terribly hard to be successful with that when you have so much stress in your life, so you are to be commended for doing so well, keep it up.
Secondly, as many comments suggest working from home I thought you might be interested in looking at a business here that is similar to some of your more natural interests, not to mention that Tantra talk the other day (you’ll see what I mean)! I promise I am in no way affiliated with this company, I have just participated in one of their evenings & just loved it! It doesn’t look like they have anyone in NZ….yet….but it could just get you thinking.
http://thedivinefeminine.com.au
Good luck
I can only offer my sympathy girl... as Anne said, go everywhere you can for help... and remember that one day things will turn around for you.. I'm sure of it. You are a fantatic person and what goes around comes around.. so it will be good again babe. {{{BIG HUGE HUGS}}}
Fucken sooky la la's men are, eh?
Something will turn up mate don't stress (yeah easy to say I know), look at what happened in the past with you being in shit street, then coping, then savings and now back to this (in the shitta). Things will turn around again and once Blair is back to work things will start to feel a bit more normal again.
Sending good vibes he gets that bloody job. What wankers not letting him know yet eh?
Good luck sweetie ...I really feel for you and will keep my fingers crossed that your luck gets better.
ok I didn't understand half the stuff you are talking about. Must be "down under" slang. WOF? Huh?
I was there last year. Our phone actually got turned off. IT SUCKS. It really sucks for you becuase Blair won't listen. If you ask me he's acting like a child. When we down my hubby went to work every night being a valet. One night he made $10 lousy dollars. Fuck, I've been there. I hope things look up.
Oh hon, I echo Chris H. Hang in there and it will come good. You and Blair gotta work together on this one for the kids. Try not to get angry. Anger never helped no-one. Patience, understanding and a can-do attitude will get you somewhere. Thinking of ya!
Oh Jules, after what 2008 dished out to you and yours, 2009 was supposed to start off on a much better note for you guys.
It would seem that it's fallen on your shoulders (not Blair's) to handle everything and you know what, that's what you always end up doing because you have to and i'm sure somehow some way an answer will present itself to your current situation too.
You are one damn strong woman and you will find a way to get through, i'm sure of it.
I've been where you are Jules - right down to losing everything - house, car, even ended up selling some of our furniture just to put food on the table. It's a crappy time worldwide as far as building goes & even people here are getting laid off by the hundreds every week. You might have to ask for help from your folks (parents) again & there's no shame in it hon, really. Blair needs to take some responsibility - answers to the problems don't come from running away from you just because he can't handle things.
I hope your situation picks up love, I really do. {{hug}}
Good on ya as well for the weight loss :-)
Whatever happened to the hippie commune idea? It's looking better and better all the time, isn't it?
Anne is right...do what you have to do...so sorry about Blair...if only he realised, his kids will really look up to him if he takes responsibility..men take responsibility...as do women...to many men do not.
I wish i could help. Something good will come along. be ready for it and grab it as it passes...
Anne: You hit the nail on the head sweets, he hates feeling helpless to do anything.
Kelly: Dad has no work either, he has three properties that won't sell and is having to go back to working for Transpower to make ends meet. Good idea though.
Alleycat: Hugs back darl!
Airlz: yeah, I need to get off my big anus and finish my naturopathy so I can work from home!!
Spiky: Thanks for your comments kind sweet lady.
Lala: Well i'd be in for sitting around in your mansion watching Blair do work!!
Mellisa: He has social phobia, he does it but is not very confident and it comes across. Although a friend of his out of work has been into 52 building companies for work, not one has any, things are slumping massively here. Dingy sounding good.
SillyYak: They don't do in NZ but I had a good look at site and would be keen to move to aussie just to partake in one of those parties!!
Chris: i keep wondering when it's going to come back around!! Soon!!
Rachel: In the shitta - Love it!!
Emmak: Cheers gorgeous lady
M: He will sort it, he has his own wierd way of coping.
Mary: Cheers babe, truer words never spoken.
Tania: Strong as an ox darl!!
Jayne: Thanks chick, helps to know people come out the other side.
Captain: Well the hippy life was a wee bit literal but also a big bit metaphorical. Just meaning that life needs to be more cruisey for me.
Middlechild: Opportunities have just past and we grabbed it, hopefully we have grabbed tight enough.xx
M - again: It sucks doesn't it! We'll get through though, we always do.
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