Thursday, April 9, 2009

Don't You Just Hate ....

..... that aunty that arrives unannounced with the worst timing ever??

You know the one, she calls in about once a month, you usually have her arrival timed quite methodically. For some reason a pimple or two, along with itchy inner ears, alerts me to her impending arrival.

But today it really did fuck me off when she arrived.

You see, my darling husband has been away all of last week, all of this week and it had been a good half week before his first departure that we'd had marital affairs.

I am gagging for a good one on one with my man.

And then, no less than 20 minutes after he arrived home, the bitch arrived, waving her hand at me throught the sliding door.

"Woohoo, it's me, I'm here to stay for a couple of days, who knows when I'll be off, and you know dear, just when you think I'm gone, I'll scare the bejebus out of you by popping back up at the kitchen window, even if all the indicators are that I left the day before".

Fucken bitch.

I'm going to need alcohol (although, for some unexplained reason, I seem to get off face much easier when she's staying).

So my rodgering is out of the question until at least next weekend.

****walks away sobbing****

20 comments:

mapstew said...

Dear jules, there is only one solution. Yourself and your good man should start your love making in the living room in full view of Auntie! Continue to the bed-chamber, all the while making the loudest of screams. Keep this up for a few hours and she'll be gone before breakfast.

Jayne said...

Brilliant idea mapstew! That should keep auntie well away in future!

Jayne said...

Brilliant idea mapstew! That should keep auntie well away in future!

Cinders said...

You should be an expert at Ninja sex with all your kidlets. Or perhaps do the opposite and scream the house down.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Jules: Oh dear...that is so not right. It's too long to go without.

I say...fake sickness and hopefully she will leave with the next breeze coming through the window screen.

But if not...a quiet lovefest with your man in the early hours of the day...works. :D

ciao sweetie.

Apple2Hourglass said...

Am I the only one who realises you're talking about your period?

LaLa said...

HA! You ARE talking about your period, I went back and re-read it after reading Apple2Hourglass's comment... funny.

Paula said...

Arrgh .... perfect opportunity for you and hubby to have a romantic night away somewhere - after all, you have Auntie as a live in babysitter this weekend!

Jules said...

Thank you Apple!! I was starting to think that my hilarious analogy was being wasted!!

kathrynoh said...

Just go for it! Do it in the shower if you must :D

Chris H said...

I reckon we have all been in that situation mate. It sucks. There is fuck all you can do about it. Hang in there and hopefully the bitch will piss off and not come back when hubby gets home next time! I for one don't EVER have to worry about that bitch ever turning up again! NEAT.

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Rofl... dont ya hate that...
Oh well... there are still afew tricks that can work and make sure you are both satisfied without penetration darling... you should have worked that out by now!!!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Jules: Duh, I get it...now. :D

HAPPY EASTER!

ciao honey

mapstew said...

What a silly bugger I is!

Margaret said...

Well my Aunty Flo was absent January thru to March, but when she visited last week, she certainly made her presence noticed!!!

Tamakikat said...

And here I was thinking you should tell your Aunty to take a flying leap!

Oh well, looks like you're going to have a good week of foreplay and ready as once 'Aunty' leaves town.

TK

Tania said...

Oh the nerve!!!

beetricks said...

Climb on the love train with an old towel under you both. I thought you were stronger than this! Come one!
:P

**Mellisa** said...

Good old Aunty Flow ..... *lol*

AlleyCat said...

Jules, you have how many children??? She does know you DO IT!!!!

Just do it & enjoy! LOL