Sober Driver

There are many things that suck about being the sober driver, especially at a wedding. The atmosphere is always condusive to partying and that is not so much fun if you are sober. I did have 2 glasses of bubbly with dinner but that was it.

There are also many benefits.

You get to remember all that was said and done.
You get to dictate the terms a wee bit.
You have your husband forever in your debt for driving him and his extended family around until 4.30am.
You always get into the clubs as you don't look like you're drunk, because you aren't I suppose!!
You can still dance around and be a headbanger at the pub with the live band because everyone else, except the people you are driving, think you're drunk.
The people you are driving often forget you aren't drunk too.
You don't have to pay through the roof for a bloody cab.
You get to laugh your arse off at two of your husband's aunty's having a fight in the back of your vehicle (esp when they start calling each other cunts and threaten to punch each other's lights out).
You get to keep your wits about you around your husband's uncle who was released from jail a couple of years ago for violent rape (nice genetics there darling!!).
You get to wake up just feelng tired and not like you've eaten some woolen socks, have a fire inside your belly and a punk band inside your head.
You don't need the next morning crappy feed as you are quite happy with a light brekkie.


Then you go to the post wedding barbie and you are told by generous husband (of course nothing to do with seediness!!) that you can drink today and he'll drive.

So you have a bottle of bubbly, get tipsy immediately and want to carry on.
Then hubby decides to go diving with the groom and some cuzzies from the far north.
They are gone for 6 hours!!
So who sobers up very quickly to be in charge of her four offspring??

I still had a great time - absolutely brilliant wedding, powhiri the night before and barbie the day after. There was a lot of culture and love and the bride's extended family, all from north of Whangarei, were absolutely darling people. Genuine as hell and just considered you part of their family immediately.

I LOVE THAT!

What does your family do at weddings??

Location Location Location

Yep, another "where I got married" post. Just got in some great photos from a mate that really show the area well. Quite a few were taken the day before, which just happened to be a picture perfect day.

Enjoy:



















And a couple of pissheads, brothers in arms!!

Don't Look A Gifthorse In The Mouth

An upside of getting married, not that the act itself isn't an upside, is the presents.

You can say all you want that you're happy with your guests just being there but let's be honest ... presents rock!!

We hit the mother load with gifts.

Here are a few:

Four slice mac daddy toaster
Slow cooker
Kenwood food processor
Two stainless steel mac daddy kettles
Lush towels
Massive gift basket (the gift that just keeps giving)
Two white designer dinner sets
Two flash as cutlery sets
Photo frame with the Apache Wedding Blessing in it (mate Jo read at our wedding)
Massive guilded mirror
Huge set of Click Clack containers (help deal with the bloody mouse problem)
Three designer white platters in different sizes
Duvet set (a bit random with circles all over it)
A mac daddy hardcover New Zealand Landscapes book from my adventurer extraordinairre cousin.
Matching salad bowl and oil dispenser (hilariously I typed salad bowel first!!)
Herb cutter with chopping board
Massive rubbish bin
Crystal Pinot Noir glasses
$260 Farmers vouchers (department store)
$100 Briscoes voucheres (homewares store)
$300 Acquisitions vouchers (flash giftware store)
$500 Mitre 10 vouchers (DIY store, hardware store)
$60 Westfields vouchers (massive shopping mall)


Then I had mates who gifted me their time and skills for the actual day.

Aunty Tracey did the flowers
Jen did the make up (a hard task!!)
Mandy made the cake
Kim did the photography
Kim's Mum is going to do a huge framed montage of the photos
Kim's Dad was the MC

and the most emotional gift of all:

my darling Aunty and close friend passed away in a terrible way five years ago. She died from bone cancer. She was one of those few "angels on earth" sort of people. She taught me to ride and she taught me the ins and outs of horse racing and nutrition. She was a pillar of love for me. Her favourite flowers were african violets so I had a wee pot of them on the registry table. I needed her to be there in spirit.

Her daughter gifted me a beautiful painting/drawing/collage that she had done herself. It was of a jockey on a thoroughbred. It's stunning and full of talent, but the thing that had me in tears, she said she wanted me to always know that the gift came from her mum as well as the rest of the family, hence the horse. She actually has exhibitions and her work is selling well but the thought behind it was just stunning - and it matches the colours I eventually want in my new home.

So, crux of it all, we were very spoilt and are just so very priveledged to have such a great and generous group of friends and family.

Visualise

A couple of pics, these are from my brother in law's shots, not the officials but some good pics anyway.

My little Sian, cute as a button:



And my little Rangi, Phoebe, butter wouldn't melt aye? We all know better!!



Blair bending down talking to Phoebes (out of view), Peta's flowers, holding hands, a great shot:



My eldest, who would believe this beautiful young lady is only just turning nine, watch out!!! Note Mum's big tatt to right of picture, all class:



The styling wedding party, minus the two little ones. My sister is the bridesmaid and Blair's best mate Dave is the best man. Ben groomsman and Peta junior bridesmaid. Note the wild background, we were in the wilderness literally:



Heading in for the first kiss, not happy with the sheer mass of my face but there is no regrets, I was at the weight I was meant to be at, just a great reminder to be slim as Jim at my first anniversary:



My darling groom waiting for me as I head towards him down the aisle/helipad/bull paddock. If this look doesn't tell you how much my man loves me then you are a hard one to please:



The bride and groom:



My handsome wee man, a mini me of his dad:

The Wedding Day

I woke at 6.30am, only because my alarm went off.

I looked out to see the most beautiful day. I was wrapt. Busied myself having some cereal, a shower and a coffee.

Left for hairdressers, arrived at 9am.

Hair took just over an hour. Can't say I was 100% happy with it. Got to my sister's to pick her and my mate slash makeup artist up and I immediately was fucked off. Keri's hair looked about 50 times better than mine. Peta looked great too but my hair just looked average.

Got over it for the time being and headed to Mt Potts. Arrived just after 1pm. Fluffed around getting makeup on and then into dress. Dress wouldn't dome properly in the right place and therefore wouldn't lace up. Out came the ever handy safety pin. Finally dressed etc and it was 3.30pm, ceremony was at 3pm. Damn late arse bride.

By this time the nerves had taken over and I had a bridezilla meltdown over the hair, got over it and headed towards the helipad where the ceremony was. The girls all walked ahead of me and then Dad and I went down the wee rocky path towards everyone. Dad was walking way to fast and my heels kept getting stuck in the grass. I had to tell the man to slow down!!

Finally rounded the guests and walked towards my husband to be. He was crying hard out! When I reached him we immediately held hands and then the ceremony started. Did I mention that it was lightly raining and the wind was howling, the snow was low on the mountains and it was fucking freezing. My veil was flying everywhere. It was all over quickly (thank fuck) and we had some quick photos and then headed up to the lodge which was toasty warm. Had a quick drink and then we took off into the wild weather for some photos on the airstrip, in the forest, the haybarn and in some derelict old stables where Blair fell in love with a big Stag's head and the lodge owner gifted it to him!

Got back to the lodge about 5.15pm and by this stage there were quite a few drunk people and I was a bit worried about the turn the night may take. We headed into dinner and had the speeches and then a beautiful buffet dinner with fresh lemon herbed salon, roast ribeye beef fillets and marinated lime chicken kebabs. Was delicious. Dessert was flourless chocolate brownies with cream and berries or mini kiwi pavolovas with whipped cream and kiwifruit.

I then took off and settled down Sian in one of the twin rooms where the kids were bunking in with my mate Jules, who was there to be the babysitter for the night. All the kids headed to bed about the same time and then Blair and I cut the cake and had our first dance to "Love Will Keep Us Alive" by the Eagles.

Within an hour it had turned to shit. My two brothers along with some local mates and brother in law and a few other drunkards, had decided to flag the beer and wine and just stood at the bar having multiple shots of top shelf spirits. Opel Nera, Tequilla, etc etc. The top shelf was half wiped out and it was all done in shots - and this was at 9.30pm. By 10pm it was nearly all over for me.

My two brothers were having "slap" fights until one did it too hard and it ended up in them brawling. Dad stepped in and they were separated. Then my youngest brother, who was off his face, decided it was a great time to air all the family bullshit which included telling Mum to shut the fuck up and stop crying, telling Dad that he was an arrogant cunt, telling all of us that he knows that we all think he's a loser but he's not. It was fucken shit. Then a friends husband nearly knocked him over and next minute it was all on and I told him to just leave the party and go to bed.

So it carried on outside with him abusig Mum and Dad and anyone who came near him.
Blair managed to settle him down and then my sister and her husband come over (husband having done multiple tequillas) and demand that youngest bro goes to bed. Blair says "give me 5 mins with him, I've got him calm, just give me 5" and sister's husband says I don't give a fuck about you I just want to put him to bed, so Blair fires up and threatens to drop him and he puffs up back saying "don't try and staunch me out" and then sister get's involved and Blair tells her to fuck off too and then she decides she's going to bed. That fucked me off, I said "we haven't even had a drink or a dance yet" and then she said well if Blair hadn't of had a go at Hayden" and then I said "my family are a bunch of arseholes" and her and her drunk husband decided to drive home in the middle of the night in the pouring rain in the middle of nowhere in the southern alps with the husband driving.

I stomped up the hill in the rain to bed crying. I had just had enough. Blair came up and had a go at me for blaming him for the fight with Hayden and that I should take a look at my brother's and stop sticking up for them etc and I ended up undressing myself in the dark and sleeping in the spare room in the cottage.

You can never get back your wedding night and that is how mine was. I was gutted, the day was great but the night was absolute shit.

At about 3am I got into bed with Blair because I didn't want to wake up the way I had gone to sleep.

We woke up cuddling but there is still a bit of tension.

Breakfast at the lodge was great and the staff were just amazing. I couldn't fault them in any way. We left with all the gifts (including the hideous stags head) in tow and have been shattered, emotionally and physically ever since.

This afternoon I was confronted by my sister over my attitude towards her over the Hayden/Blair incident and my brother stepped in sticking up for her and I said to him, "don't you start, you haven't even apologised to me yet" and he fired up and said "you haven't apologised to me!!".

What the fuck??

You ruin my fucken wedding night and I am expected to apologise to you. They can all go get bum fucked for all I fucken care. Pack of self centred wankers.

And now Mum is upset that I don't want to go and play happy families with the wankstains tomorrow as we are supposed to have a going away doo for one brother combined with an engagement party for the younger brother. Get rooted you pack of losers.

As you see the photos aren't in yet but I got the anger in me to write the post so went with it.