Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A Bunch of Random Things

**If you could would you lick your own anus or vadge or sausage if you have one?? I was just watching the cat give her arse a good clean and after my initial "holy fuck, what the hell are you doing?" reaction that I always get when I see her doing it, I then started to contemplate the handiness of it all. Not for cleaning purposes mind, I was thinking of the self satisfaction one could achieve. I remember a boy at high school (whose name escapes me but whose unfortunate face is forever etched in my memory) and his brother walked in on him in the empty bath trying desperately to suck his own dick. Ten points for effort but would you really want to???

**Why do we constantly conform to other's standards?? I have been recently reminded that some of my inner turmoil comes from the fact that I constantly have in my mind the person I am "expected" to be and if differs dramatically from the person I WANT to be. I am, as previously blogged, a hippie waiting to escape. But my father has always been outwardly damning of the hippie lifestyle. More so of those that bludge of the government so that they can sit on their arses smoking pot and doing fuck all. I am of the hippie mindset that working still applies but natural health, chakras, incense, inner peace etc etc, are all good things. More importantly I expect that one should live their life the way they want to, as long as it doesn't impede on other's safety or happiness. Eg if you like killing people then that is not okay, if you like beating animals that is not okay, if you like massive parties but live in a complex with five hundred other apartments that is not okay.

**Losing weight is not about dieting. It fucken isn't okay!! It's about taking control of your out of control eating. It's about expending more energy than you are taking in, it's about eating well balanced, nutritional meals the majority of time, but still allowing yourself to have luxuries as long as you don't beat yourself up for it and as long as you aren't indulging in luxury all day long.

**Housework sucks baboon arse. I mean seriously, who the fuck likes cleaning?? If you do, come see me, we can tee up a live in arrangement where you clean in exchange for my witty and outspoken company. Anyone interested??

**Blogging is great. I know, silly statement but very recently I have been overwhelmed at some of my closest friends and their insights and helpfulness. And the majority of you I have never met. Without this social network you would not have had the joy of my ramblings and I would not have had the joy of yours.


Anonymous said...

1. God no no no, I would not lick my own vag. That is someone else's job. ;)

2. I've been dealing with a loss of blog readers lately because I am no longer conforming to what they deem as blogworthy. Fuck that.

3. Amen.
4. Amen
5. WooHoo!

Cinders said...

Jules, if my mum lived closer I would send her around. When I left for work this morning, she was at my place cleaning. Yes - I'm spoilt!

Let me tell you, there's plenty of boys out there sucking their own - and it looks hideous!

Dieting is all about balance, you're right :)

Middle Child said...

Ahem!!! I know someone who was able to do that...just to see ifn he would be suprided how many men(boys) have tried this but too shy to admit...

I am with you re the social network of bloggers...just because its a new thing doesn't make it less worthy...

re the hippy thingie...could be just a naturla way of living...and some choose to think that the hippy movement was about drugs, slovenlyness, and dropping out...that was just the downside...the upside was wonderful

Anonymous said...

Do you reckon they'd swallow??? *lmao*

Anonymous said...

See attention span of a chicken .... got stuck on question 1!!!!

ladypenelope said...

Totally with you on #3, it's not like we don't *know* how to lose weight but that's not what's keeping us the size we are!

Cleaning, urgh. All I have to say on the matter...

Anonymous said...

I actually kind of like cleaning, but only when no one fucking messes it up. That makes me irate.

Be a hippie love, life's too short to conform to your Dad's standards. I wish you could meet my Mum, she is a total opposite to the rest in her family... but over time they have come to love and respect her for who she is. I am sure your Dad would too.

EmmaK said...

Re losing weight - I believe we are probably similar, we can do it for a certain time, then as soon as we are depressed it's binge central. I would say what works is really doing A LOT of exercise, like walk everywhere and go to the gym every day - no excuses.It gives energy and I find when I have a lot of energy I don't need the pick me up mid afternoon of cakes, biscuits, bread, cheese caffeine etc. I'm just sayin.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

I can get plenty of volunteers to lick my vagde1...why even try to do the prtetzel thing. hehehe.

I actually do like doing housework. But that's because I don't do it that often. Not that my house is dirty...I just have others that do it. :D

Ciao honey...fab post.

Chris H said...

- No friggin way.
- I hope you do eventually live the life you want to.. cos otherwise you are gunna die pissed off mate.
- True.
- TOTALLY SUCKS .. for sure.
- Love love love blogging

Cazzie!!! said...

LMFAO...OMG...HAHA, I wish I could do that..I mean, who would need a hubby..and, would they need a wifey if they could satisfy themselves that way? Anyway... I can't rightly even give it a go..I mean, the verandah over the workshop prevents me from even attempting to contort myself so I could do that!
Being hippie...I love it. I feel that I do live this lifestyle to an extent. I love to burn my incense...have done so ever since I was a little girl and ran off in the city with the Hurrie Krishnas (spell check?). I burn sandklewood first and Nagga Chump..second most. I use essential oils for cures and sleep remedies and I also use them in carrier oils to rub into the skin or to spritzer onto the kids' pillows to encourage sleep.
I walk about naked whenever I can and well, the kids to it too and I don't care, they ought to feel proud of themselves and their healthy bodies..and of course, when people come to visit we are all clothed(so don't think I will give a heart attack to you if you did happen to cross the chanel from NZ to Melbourne to visit me just to look at my bazzookers! Haha!)
Housework..don't start me off... I cleaned the boys'rooms top to bloody bottom this morning. They smell devine with a sprinkle of lemon and lavender oil now.
Lastly, I wanna tell you that I so love coming here to read what you gotta say. I love your candidness and openness and you are mean, we all have down days and then we have days of courage and we have days of FUN and FRIVOLITY..but most of all... we live life every day as if it was our last.
Those that matter don't mind what we say or do...but those that don't matter will probably mind what we say and do...and well..they can nick off! They are the ones missing out...haha
Over and out :)

Tania said...

Life is too damn short not to live it the way you want! Stuff what you're "expected" to be, it's what you want to be that counts.

As to your cat - I have a couple of dogs that like to "clean" each other in all the right places - both females and both ready to ship to NZ if you're interested ... lol