Friday, January 25, 2008


You know how you just think a day is going to turn out sweet.

You are looking forward to the start of the weekend, a bit of nooky for the first time in three months and just some chill out time.

Then your 14 month old wakes at 3.46am with a temp and crying. You settle her in with you and get her off to the doc first thing. She is lethargic and refusing to have a bottle or any food. She just quietly observes the house.

Doc does all sorts of tests, blood sugar, thrush of mouth, strep throat, puts urine collection bag on etc etc. Probably viral - if you're a mother you have heard this phrase a million times.

As you put kids in car and run in to grab prescription for Pamol your eldest yells out Sian's vomitting.

Doc comes out to reassess and concurs to still carry on.

On way home you realise that your Mum was dropping Phoebe off at 12.30pm, it's 12.15am and you're 25mins from home. You speed up a little but only on the motorway.

Mr Plod is hiding behind an overbridge, pulls out, lights on and motions to you to pull over.

You do so.

He asks if there was any reason you were going 115 in a 100 zone. Daydreaming perhaps? Actually Constable, my daughter has just vomitted and I am just keen to get home.



Actually Constable, I lost it on a night out 2 years ago and haven't gotten around to getting it yet. (mind flashing $150 instant fine for not having license on me)

Do you realise your diesel road user miles are over the limit. By 6,500kms. They cost $34 a thousand Kms and you have to pay 3 x that as a fine (mind flashing $750 fine).

Oh, and your rego seems to have expired last week? (mind flashing $200 fine).

Goes and checks my details and comes back with speeding ticket. For $80.

If you pay the diesel miles by next Wednesday I won't sent out a fine, there will be no other fines but please get everything sorted.

Have a nice day!!

When do you ever get treated this nicely by a cop??

When you cleavage is looking this fine, that's when:


Chris H said...

HA HA HA!!! Ain't it grand being a girl!!!!! I have had the same thing happen to me... only I actually RAN OVER THE MOTORBIKE COP AND HIS MOTORBIKE, he was so shocked he just told me to go home!!!

Anne said...

You made me laugh and then I saw the comment from Chris and laughed even more!!

Anonymous said...

or if you cry - ask Beck.

Lyn said...

Oh Jules!! I'm shocked! Just shocked that I couldn't pull the same thing off and you could! Mind you the cop I had was an archaic creepy old man!!

Lynda said...

Looking good!! hehe... what a funny post, I hope it all gets better soon.

Middle Child said...

You are a wonder Jules...poor copper. So much promise and so little opportunity..tee hee.

My husband's mum (when she was asweet young thing backed into the police station whe she was going for her licence...
and they gave it to her ... still nice to know that there are real men about who still love to look at women without doing them harm...onya Jules

kathrynoh said...

Ha, good one. I got off a few fines one time when I was younger, just got a ticket for one offence instead of about five. He was a hot cop too - would have tried to get him down to no tickets if I hadn't had a young Andrew in the car with me ;)

Cazzie!!! said...

Go the cleave..hahaha!!

So, how is your little one now then? Ok I hope.

Tania said...

Woohoo - you go girl!

Hope Sian is feeling better?

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Well I sure hope your lil one is feeling better soon...and that you finally get to road test the new vag.... Go the Girls!!!!

zara said...

I clicked on your boobs just for fun and they inflated to the size of blimps on my screen! HAHAHA!

So if that was real-life size, I can TOTALLY see how you got out of your tickets! A pretty girl with great knockers showing!

My best to Sian...poor baby.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAH. I loved this post.

Hope your bubba gets better soon ;)

Ms Smack said...

hilarious post. Hope you get that stuff sorted though. I think its your luck that you'll see that same cop next week!

Name: Lynise said...

oh is that how its done.
My last run in with the law was not so pleasant, in fact I was pulled up for not wearing a seatbelt (which I was actually wearing) but then the dick (oops, I mean the lovely officer) paraded around the car checking everything was legel before finally telling me that the box I had sitting on the front seat was to big and could be an accident risk. (seemed like he was just trying to find a problem) I can't remember what I was wearing but must carry a low cut top with me at all times now just incase I need to flash a bit of boob. (I'm sure the girls are still worth looking at. lol)

Tully said...

They certainly are some nice boobs, no wonder he let you off! That's why we have them isn't it?

Steph said...

Phwooaarr! I'm surprised he could speak without a stutter. Will we see you on police 10/7? I fucking love that show. Your cops are bloody cool bro!!!

m said...


Mellisa said...

Hell, I'd let you off too!! Did you make it home in time for mummy? Is Sian ok now?? Oh and don't you own a mobile phone???

Jayne said...

I got my drivers licence by doing exactly what you did Jules! The traffic cop/instructor was way too busy sussing out my boobs to worry about my driving. I wore a 'push 'em up' bra & opened my blouse so's he got a good eyefull! Worked bloody magic cos I passed my test on the first attempt!
Now for a seemingly 'daft' question - what are diesel miles???